The Cancer Monster

Mimi had her surgery on Friday and everything went well. The lymph node had grown another centimeter or more so we are glad we were able to get it out when we could. At the time of the MRI it had not attached itself to any tissue but once the surgeon began to operate it actually had begun to attach itself to tissue. However, the surgeon feels good about the amount he was able to remove though and we will just closely monitor that area. Mimi is home now at my uncle's as of Saturday afternoon.

I have had some experience with Cancer because of family and friends going through the ordeal. Everyone has the same reaction. I can't describe the facial expression with words but everyone gives the same response of fear, sadness and worry.

The Merriam Webster definition describes cancer using words like -invasion, evil, destructive, fast spreading, harmful, abnormal.

I think if we could personify Cancer it would look a lot like these monsters I ran into a few years back at Halloween parties. Scary, nasty, evil, and terrifying. The people in these costumes had one intention that night-to frighten others. Luckily at the end of the night-the costume could be removed and the fear dissipated. Unfortunately that isn't always the case with Cancer. Or for that matter-sin.




And in the same way we have to treat cancer we sometimes have to treat sin. We have to surgically remove it from our life lest we become slaves to it and then often times it is still attached, lingering and we have to monitor it and make sure we go in for checkups and get out any remaining pieces.

Sometimes sin can even lead to death much like cancer but luckily God allowed his own Son to suffer so that we can be free from the consequences of sin.

Romans 6:20-23 (New International Version)
20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.


As we begin to approach the holidays thank God when you see the ugly little monsters knocking on your door for candy, that you are free from the monster of sin. Give thanks to God when you sit at your table to feast with family at Thanksgiving, that you are free from the chains of sin. And finally, thank God when you open your gifts in front of your Christmas tree, that the gift of His Son is eternal life.

Update on Mimi

Hey Blogosphere!
I wanted to update you all and let you know that Mimi's cancer is localized to that lymph node. We will find out when she can have the operation to remove it and if she will require any follow up radiation. Thank you for your prayers. I know that no matter the outcome of these tests our God is a good God.

Your faithfulness to my family and now my extended family has amazed me so much and I am so thankful to know I am not alone in this journey.

Running the Same Race

I realized this past Saturday as I was running in the Race for the Cure, that I had ran this particular race about 4 or 5 times. In addition, I am also gearing up to run my 3rd or 4th Vulcan 10K next month. You would think after running both races so many times before I would either tire of the course or decide to run something else. Perhaps that is partially true but each time I run the race there is something different about it. The weather, the shoes, my time, my training schedule or the people I enter and run each race with.

The Vulcan 10k is one of my favorite races partly because 10 kilometers is my preferred distance. It’s 6.2 miles, which is long enough to challenge me but not so far that I am exhausted. The one thing about this race is that it has a few hills. So as part of my training every year I have a mapped out a 6 to 6.5 mile route around my apartment that I like to add back into my weekly runs.

For those of you that don’t know, I live in Vestavia Hills…Hills being the key word. There are a few flat portions in the route that I have created but you have to scale a few hills to get to them and once you are there then you have to run up a few more to get back home. For any skiers out there, I would classify a few of these as black diamonds. I am thinking if covered with snow and ice you could definitely have a nice run down.

Needless to say, I have run this route several times during my training over the years. However, the problem lies in that I only remember how I feel at the end of my training and not at the beginning. So when I start out to run the route I forget that it usually takes me a few tries to get the hang of the course.

So yesterday I started out to tackle my 6 mile route to prepare for my upcoming race. About a mile into my run I had the thought; can I quit and go home?
About two miles into my run I had the thought; this didn’t seem so hard last time?!
About three miles into my run I had the thought; I feel pretty good and I’m halfway done!

I would have to say that I think those same thoughts enter my head when I am going through a lesson that God is teaching me. Though the circumstances may be different the lessons I am learning aren’t. Whether God is teaching me about pride, forgiveness, self control, bitterness, selfishness, dependency, etc it is the same lesson that I have learned before.

I am pretty sure I have asked the same questions of God. Can I quit and go home? This didn’t seem so hard last time? Or I have my “a-ha” moment and I realize, this feels pretty good and I see the finish line up ahead.

So why do I run the same race? I know right away I never enter these races to win. I am not Kenyan, as a matter of fact I am a former fat girl who still dreams of Doritos and cupcake day at the Samford cafeteria. No, I enter these races to improve myself as a runner, to challenge myself, to have fun and maybe have a PR (personal record).

Same reasons we are still metaphorically running this Christian race. We aren’t ever doing this to “win.” Luckily, it was already DONE for us on the cross. We never are required to really DO anything any more. Christ already DID it all and paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. And by his grace we are saved. But out of gratitude we “run this race that we may share in the blessings and get a crown that lasts forever.” 1 Cor 9:23-25.

Often times running this race means learning a few of the same lessons over and over. Just like with my training, I have to keep at it because I am not the perfect runner. Luckily for us, Christ also keeps at it and teaches us the same things over and over for the same reasons.

James 1:2-5 (New International Version)
Trials and Temptations
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Here Comes the Flood

"When the flood calls; You have no home, you have no walls; In the thunder crash; You're a thousand minds, within a flash; Don't be afraid to cry at what you see.." Here Comes the Flood-Peter Gabriel


As many of you know living in the metro Atlanta area, it has been quite a week already with flood and rain. Birmingham hasn't had it nearly as bad as the Atlanta area. Just lots of nasty, rainy weather.

Luckily those lyrics above are simply that-lyrics. They aren't truth or fact. We do have a home when our physical walls come down due to a flood. Whether that flood is an actual deluge of water or if it is a series of circumstances that seem overwhelming and overflowing, we have a solid rock to stand on.

It seems that this year has brought flood after flood in our lives. Yesterday we found out that my grandmother, Mimi, was diagnosed with cancer. We aren't sure of what kind of cancer yet and are awaiting some other tests. She will be moving to Virginia to live with my Uncle and Aunt so that someone can take her to and from the doctor. I think once we know the type of cancer and treatment involved, we are going to evaluate our next steps.

Please keep her in your prayers and my Mom. Despite the hiccups of having Mimi stay with us while Mom was healing, she was there! I am forever indebted to her for staying by my Mom's side while she needed someone to feed, bath and help her do daily tasks.

And fortunately for us we know that those lyrics aren't truth. We do have a home. God will never destroy with a flood. In fact the waters may rush over us and it may feel as if we are drowning yet He will see us on the other side.

Genesis 9:11-12 (New International Version)
11 I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come:

Isaiah 43:2-4 (New International Version)

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

Happy Anniversary!

My parents anniversary is on Thursday, September 17th. They will have been married 42 years. I was trying to think of one word or phrase that sums up their marriage in my mind. It came to me via the radio. "I will be here" by Steven Curtis Champan. I know its one of the more overused marriage songs but it really seems to fit for my parents. They are always there for each other! I can never think of a time outside of when Mom was in the hospital that Dad was not by her side or vice versa. It really seems to fit especially since the future years seem a bit murky and unclear due to this accident and the life changes. I love you Mom and Dad-thank you for showing me a picture of a beautiful marriage and how amazing it is to have parents that have been together for 42 years!

I Will Be Here(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

As a treat here are some pictures I have of my parents from a dvd I did for them for their 40th! It shows you that Dad and Mom definitely are there for each other through all of life!

Contentment and Cupcakes

Sometimes I don't have a lot to offer in the way of updates. However, I know from what my parents tell me that there are those of you out there that enjoy reading the blog. I typically only like to write when it is inspired by God or if He has laid something on my heart to share with you that correlates to my family's experience.

That being said, I have felt that I need to continue this blog and try to update each week with something that God has laid on my heart whether that applies to my parent's healing or not. I think in general it applies to overall healing and when our spiritual life is being healed and restored the result is a wellspring of healing in other areas.

I have been thinking a lot about contentment. Being content in all situations. In my bible study we discussed the life of Paul and how he consciously made an effort to be content despite his circumstances. Contentment isn't a feeling or emotion as much as we would actually want it to be, rather it is a choice. It is a discernible effort you and I make to refresh out attitude and minds to choose to be content in our circumstances.

Easier said than done...

Without going into much detail, I would say that for the past 9 or 10 months since my parent's accident I have struggled with this concept. I have been held at bay because I allowed my circumstances to overwhelm me and choke the joy and contentment from my daily life. Despite staying in the Word, praying and surrounding myself with Christian advice, I have still been uncomfortable in my own skin. I would pray, cry, lament, complain, whine until ultimately I was having a full on pity party every day. For those of you that have experienced this-thanks for still being my friend!

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally decided that Satan would no longer have a foothold on my contentment. I would instead "cast my cares and anxiety" on God and choose to be content. (Mind you we studied contentment several weeks, perhaps even months ago, in bible study and I am just now coming to terms with what I heard.)

Is this easy? No! Is this fun? No! Am I happy? Sometimes! But how self centered of me to think that this life is about ME! My happiness, my excitement, my glory. No, rather this thing we have...life. This life is about glorifying God no matter what he has laid before us. When we choose contentment we are saying to others and to the evilness of this world, the master of deception, Satan-back off! I have the power of the Holy Spirit, the same power of resurrection, coursing through my veins and I will not be held captive any longer to the desires of temporary things.

I can't say that because I have decided to take baby steps to begin to be content that my life has dramatically changed. My circumstances are still the same as before. The same things that caused me to complain and whine are still there. I can however, say that my heart, thoughts and hopefully speech has become less negative and more positive. I am learning each day to choose to be content.

Paul tends to say these things a bit more poetic and he was also sitting in a jail cell-hungry, tired, beaten and bruised and constantly praising and preaching the gospel. I am sitting at a desk, drinking coffee, finishing breakfast and looking out a window. I doubt I have room to complain!

Philippians 3:7-14 (New International Version)

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:11-13 (New International Version)
11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

So the best tangible, concrete example of contentment I can give you would be...cupcakes! A tiny personal cake just for you. In my group of friends we love giving everyone cupcakes for their birthday or special events. We have been known to to go to a bakery or deli just for the cupcakes. There are a few places around town if you are local to Birmingham that I suggest you visit-Urban Standard, Pastry Arts bakery and Dreamcakes. The other night a few of us had had a bad week-insect bites, cars being broken into and job frustrations. We decided that cupcakes would solve our problems! I ordered wedding cake as my flavor and I definitely think that as I unpeeled the wrapper from that magical little cake my whole outlook changed in an instant. Yes, the tangible form of contentment would in fact be, a cupcake sprinkled with edible diamond fairy dust that personifies what I think heaven may in fact taste like!

I don't have an actual photo of the cupcake but this is as close as I could come up with to give you an idea.

Nap Time, Caverns, Ramblings and an Update

As some of you know, I babysit two children every week. They are 8 and 5. The 5-year old officially started school last week. She has always gone to a learning center but now she was a big girl and headed off to the same school as her brother. Last week the excitement of a new school kept her going and she was enjoying seeing her brother. This week however the reality of school has now hit her.

When I saw her I asked her what was wrong. With a pouty face she said, "This boy kept talking during nap time and I didn't even get to sleep." It had thrown off her whole day. She didn't get to rest! Without proper rest an entire day at school can be pretty hard. It throws off your routine.

How many times as adults do we crave the simplicity of Kindergarten? The need for a daily rest. The restoration that comes from living without stress or worry.

My family needs rest. Hear my plea today as I ask for prayer for everyone in my immediate family. My Mom found out she has carpel tunnel on the right wrist. Hence the nerve pain. This will have to be evaluated on Sept 1st. The accident has either caused or added to existing conditions. Her knee and hip are also in constant pain and she will now have to have therapy on those areas as well.

My Dad needs rest. He has taken on the responsibility of husband, grocery shopper, cook and housekeeper. I am worried he is doing too much without knowing he is doing too much. I don't want him to wake up one morning overwhelmed with stress and worry from daily tasks.

My sister and her family are dealing with a typical two year old that may also have some greater development problems. We are awaiting some testing and results to see how to tackle the toddler years. Everyone involved needs rest.

We heard an illustration in church on Sunday that I must share with you. If anyone has been to DeSoto Caverns in Alabama you will understand. But the worship leader said that as a child they went down into the cavern and the guide told them he was going to turn off all flashlights so they could see how dark it was. Our worship leader said that he had never been in such a dark place. His initial reaction was to immediately put his hands out in front of him or to the side, grasping for anything to steady him in the darkness. Yet in our moments of darkness instead of grasping for anything to hold on to, why can't we raise our hands above our heads and surrender to God. In our darkness why can't we look to the light?

I, myself, am doing okay. I have definitely had better days. Honestly, I can't quite make out my next step to take in this darkness but I will try to keep my hands up towards the light as He guides me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. [a]

Psalm 23 (New International Version)

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.