Cardboard Testimonies

I had one of the most amazing experiences last night. I was fortunate enough to go to a service at The Lovelady Center with a group of women from my church. It is a women's shelter for ladies who have been incarcerated or those coming off the streets or running from abusive relationships. We were treated to a dinner, presentation, and tour of the facilities. It is housed in an old hospital in the East Lake area and currently is at capacity with over 330 women and children. At this moment there are also 23 babies all under the age of 6 weeks old!

I could not hold back the tears watching these women and hearing their stories. At one point in the service the women came out and gave their testimonies on cardboard. On one side they had written their past and then they flipped the card over to reveal their present and future. As women younger than me walked across the stage, I was overwhelmed with such emotion. These women told stories of abuse, neglect, drugs, prostitution, etc... Signs said things like "Drug Addict" and then "Fanatic of Jesus."

One of the more moving signs were the mothers and daughters. A mother held a sign that said "Following down a path of destruction" while her teenage daughter held a sign that said "Following in her footsteps." Then the mother's sign read "Following God's path for me" while her daughter held the same sign that said "Following in her footsteps."

I wish I could express to you how powerful that portion of the program was. After each woman walked across the stage and held up her sign and then her new sign, everyone applauded. I was so humbled at the same time. Here are these women that are my age, my friends' age, my Mom's age, my sister's age. They represent all of us and it so easily could be any of us. Any of us could fall into hard times and resort to actions we never thought possible. Some of these women were college graduates, had great jobs but made poor choices.

What if someone asked you to walk across the stage today boldly displaying your sin on a cardboard sign? Then when asked to flip it over what would the other side say? I am pretty sure my sign would say "Selfish" and then I would flip it over to say "Still Selfish." It was extremely convicting.

I was surrounded by very difficult circumstances last night but yet in the midst of pain was HOPE. These women have HOPE now, they have a safe place to sleep, they have their children back, their lives back, jobs and most importantly an eternal future. God rescued them and healed their wounds. That same God rescues me daily and heals my own wounds. That same God can rescue my Mom and heal her wounds. He can rescue you and heal your wounds.

Don't doubt the power of our almighty God who allowed his Son to die for us and then raised Him from the dead. We talked in Bible Study about how the first one to see Jesus was Mary Magdalene. She was desperately seeking her Savior outside the empty tomb when she ran into the "gardener." She didn't care who saw her, she just wanted to see her Jesus. Finally when he called her by name-Mary-she recognized him. He told her to go and tell and she did just that. The first true evangelist some may say-was Mary Magdalene, a former prostitute.

God can use anyone...Is He calling you by name? Flip over your sign and tell someone He is Alive!



John 20:10-18 (New International Version)

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene
10Then the disciples went back to their homes, 11but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"

"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." 14At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15"Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

16Jesus said to her, "Mary."
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).

17Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "

18Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her.

Springtime in Narnia

One of my favorite books as a child and even more as an adult is C.S. Lewis' The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Lewis has the ability to turn what is fantasy and magic into a quiet beautiful analogy of our own spiritual journey.

When we first see Narnia it is a winter wonderland covered in snow and what appears to be quite peaceful and calm. However after some stay in Narnia we realize the winter has done nothing but frozen all new life. Nothing grows, no new life buds, no promise of change or hope around the corner. Instead everything and everyone within Narnia is under the White Witch's spell, living in a frozen tundra.

Without giving you a book report, the best part in any of the Chronicles of Narnia is when Aslan enters the picture. He roars in triumphantly and offers salvation. Aslan sacrifices his own life in order to save Edmund's. Of course, Aslan doesn't stay dead for long though as death holds no victory over him.

When Christ comes into our life we have the hope of spring, new life, birds begin to sing a new song, flowers bloom, frozen brooks begin to babble and all is alive again. We are no longer trapped in a cold stagnant environment, we are alive, warm, and flowing with the new life that Christ offers.

I am looking forward to spring. I have already enjoyed the weather, the longer days, the blooming nature around me. The literal gift from heaven to show me that we are not trapped in a frozen state of mind but that life is around the corner with the promise of Christ. So far 2009 has felt a bit like the frozen winter of Narnia. The fact that springtime is upon us offers me the hope that God has something really special in store for me and my family.

As we approach this new season, I have new prayer requests. I am asking God to fully restore my Mom. Her right hand is weak and for her to fully become self sufficient she needs all her strength back in her fingers. Her left arm is not at full mobility. For her to really be able to care for herself, dress herself and begin to live independently we need that left arm to function normally again. Pray with me this spring that we will see my Mom back to 100% health.

One of the songs from the movie version of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe by Jars of Clay has had a big impact on me. The lyrics are below. I think my favorite line is how the author is waiting for the scene to change but later has realized that his view has changed him. His own surroundings are molding him rather than waiting on those to change for him. No matter what, nothing ever changes who he is to God though and that is the real hope we have. Nothing we do or don't do, no season, no life circumstance can change us from who we are to God.

Waiting for the World to Fall
I'm afraid it's been too long to try to find the reasons why
I let my world close in around a smaller patch of fading sky
But now I've grown beyond the walls to where I've never been
And it's still winter in my wonderland

Chorus
I'm waiting for the world to fall
I'm waiting for the scene to change
I'm waiting when the colors come
I'm waiting to let my world come undone

I close my eyes and try to see the world unbroken underneath
The farther off and already it just might make the life I lead
A little more than make-believe when all my skies are painted blue
And the clouds don't ever change the shape of who I am to You

Chorus
I'm waiting for the world to fall
I'm waiting for the scene to change
I'm waiting when the colors come
I'm waiting to let my world come undone

When I catch the light of falling stars my view is changing me
My view is changing me

I'm waiting

Not Lucky!

Obviously today is St. Patrick's day. I have on my green even though I'm not Irish and I have already gotten several emails from various vendors letting me know it's my "lucky" day and I can get free shipping or 30% off their products.

It got me thinking about luck in general. Wikipedia defines luck as the following:
Luck (also called fortuity) is a chance happening, or that which happens beyond a person's control...good fortune/misfortune.

I say things all the time about how lucky I am that I live where I do, how lucky I am that I have a job in this economy, how lucky I am that my parents are alive today, how lucky we were that the state trooper saw their car...yet that isn't true at all.

How blessed we are that we have a loving Father that is in control and that our lives are not just up to chance. That we don't have to approach each day with our fingers crossed hoping it is our "lucky" day. Hoping that the next 24 hours are filled with chance happenings beyond our control. No we are blessed and honored to have a God who is constantly laying out plans for us. Plans and a purpose. We don't have to walk into each day holding a lucky four leaf clover or rabbit's foot.

Our faith is not based on superstitions, wishes, or the off chance that today may be our "lucky" day. Our faith is based on truth and the infallible word of God. We have assurance, security, confidence, and hope. These are words that often in our day and time we don't hear. Especially in this recession-the idea of assurance and security are not daily words spoken on the nightly news.

Thank goodness I am not lucky but instead I am promised, I have hope, I am blessed...
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

If you are feeling a little in the Irish mood however, I do recommend the movie Waking Ned Devine.

It is a cute movie about a small Irish village and winning the lottery. I think this movie shows us that you will find the true value of how blessed we are to have friends in this often unlucky world!

Cheer Up!

Well despite the stormy weather this weekend, I ran my 5k. It was rainy and nasty the whole time but considering it was a Perseverance 5k I didn't feel quite right staying in bed and skipping it! Mom and Dad decided not to make the drive over to Alabama. I am glad because I want them both to be 100% before they try to tackle a trip like that. I have a race in a month that is longer-15K-and I am thinking by then they will feel better. I made this shirt for my Mom but I wore my poncho the whole time. Needless to say this shirt will make an appearance again. However, I am not sure crafts are my hidden talent!

It seems like the weather predicts my mood lately. I was kindof down and gloomy the week it snowed and then spring sprung. I am overlooking the rainy weekend for this metaphor though. I have wallowed in my self pity for long enough and now it is time to press on. I think the emotions of the past 4 months catch up with me at certain times. Parents accident, job change, car troubles, family drama, etc... so when I sometimes stop and allow myself to think about all we have been through a sense of doubt sweeps over me rather than a sense of peace and calm.

Mom is doing great! She continues to get better and with a little more therapy I think we are almost at the finish line. I need to remind myself of all that we have been through and how far we have come. We can only credit that to God and his everlasting mercy and faithfulness.

Yesterday in church, we studied Mark 10:46-52
Mark 10:46-52 (New International Version)

Blind Bartimaeus Receives His Sight
46Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (that is, the Son of Timaeus), was sitting by the roadside begging. 47When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!"

48Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"

49Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." So they called to the blind man, "Cheer up! On your feet! He's calling you." 50Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.

51"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him.
The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see."

52"Go," said Jesus, "your faith has healed you." Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road.

I think my favorite verse is verse 49 (it's bolded). Here is a blind man calling out to Jesus for mercy and the disciples simply say to him-Cheer up, On your feet, He is calling you! What a wonderful picture for us. As I sit in my darkness, my despair, my emotional blindness crying out to God...there He is calling out to me. I must stop my noisy crying and instead-Cheer up, get on my feet and hear His call!

I want to see what Jesus has in store for me and my family and luckily we know that Jesus restores sight to the blind! I must Cheer up...He is calling me!

Surrounded by Rejection

This past week was difficult for me. From work pressures to physical problems, it has just not been my week.

I started work by coming in late from the snow on Monday and the issues just continued to go from there. I am adjusting to this new industry and new job every day. It is way different from my last job and I am realizing everyday how much more I have to learn. I have already made a few mistakes and I am humbled every time. I just know that I have been placed in this job for a reason and I am ready and willing to see why. Of course I am sure God is saving the perfect time to show all the answers to me!

On top of stress at work, I also got sick this week with an infection. It hit me hard and I am still dealing with some of the drawbacks and side effects of the illness. I am so ready for this to be over with so that I can feel like myself again and back to normal.

This week has made me nervous, jittery, weepy, whiny and finally humble. I am realizing daily that when you strip away the things of this world that truly Christ is all we have. The confidence I have on the job wavers, my own body is fighting with me, and my whole sense of self and purpose have been questioned this week. However, Christ is still my Savior and friend who loves me and accepts me no matter what is going on around me.

I am reading Henri Nouwen's Life of the Beloved (great book go and get it!!)and he speaks of the beauty of being the Beloved of Christ in a world surrounded by rejection. People, society, the media, even ourselves are constantly telling us that we aren't good enough but yet we never have to worry about what God thinks of us.

He says it so much better than I can: "Long before any human being saw us, we are seen by God's loving eyes. Long before anyone heard us cry or laugh, we are heard by our God who is all ears for us. Long before any person spoke to us in this world, we are spoken to by the voice of eternal love. Our preciousness, uniqueness, and individuality are not given to us by those who meet us in clock-time-our brief chronological existence-but by the One who has chosen us with an everlasting love, a love that existed from all eternity and will last through eternity."

These words comfort me in the midst of a bad day at work, when I am frustrated with the people who surround me, when my own negative voices confront me. Nothing can take me away from the love of Christ. The love of Christ that chose me! That unconditionally loves me. That calls me His Beloved!

So despite a rocky start to the year, I feel like I am on the right path that I am called to be on right now. Continue to pray for my family's healing and my own realization that I not defined by the rejection that surrounds me but rather the everlasting love of Christ!

Jeremiah 31:3 (New International Version)

3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, [a] saying:
"I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

Snowed In with my Parents and Birds!

I was able to get snowed in this weekend with my parents! It actually was a lot of fun. Mom and I were pretty lazy all weekend but I am so impressed with her movement and the ability to use her arms. She has really improved so much. Each time I see her, she is getting better. I brought her some really nice nightgowns so she didn't have to worry about pulling her pants up and down during the day. So if you visit Mom she may be minus pants!

Anyways-it started snowing around noon on Sunday and did not stop until about 8pm. Needless to say, I stayed over one more day. I probably didn't seem as happy as I was. I just tend to worry about little things. Getting to work on time, driving in the snow, trying to unpack, when can I see Blake, when can I work out, or who can check on Kitty Lynn. Just the silly small things.

As I type this, once again God is speaking to me. Birds were a common theme of our weekend. We did nothing but watch the birds move around in the snow. I don't know how well you can see the birds on the ground in that picture above but all they did all day was eat the birdseed. God provided for those "Southern" birds in the midst of a rare snowstorm. They ate to their hearts content and a few squirrels got fed as well.

And here I am complaining about my surroundings. I am all wrapped up in a new job, money and relationship worry and right before my eyes God is showing me his promise. These little creatures were being cared and provided for and didn't have a worry at all. Just like Jesus promised-

Matthew 6:25-27 (New International Version)

Do Not Worry
25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?

We also watched To Kill a Mockingbird when the cable went out and I am always in love with Gregory Peck by the end of the movie, as well as, the characters Scout, Jem and most of all Boo Radley! And of course the story and book, in general, by Harper Lee. I am not sure how the two connect outside of Birds really but the picture of meekness, humility, morality, and innocence is really something that should be admired. I think it reminds me to find the good in everything and everyone and to never "kill" a mockingbird. Never quench those things in life that are only meant to sing their heart out for you!

If you happen to get "snowed in" (whether that be with actual snow or worry)-stop and consider the birds of the air-they don't worry about the little things and are still cared for by the same God that cares for you. And look for the beauty in things-the people around you, the nature, the opportunities that are meant to simply be there to sing their heart out just for you.