Update on the Knee Surgery

Hey everyone
Thank you all for your prayers, phone calls and text messages yesterday. Mom's surgery went well. The surgeon was able to repair the torn meniscus and clean out all the debris. He felt like it was a very successful surgery and now we are just in the recovery phase.

She was sent home with a walker and when she does have to move around the doctor wants her to put 100% of her weight on that knee. Pray that she begins to experience healing quickly as I know it is hard for her to use the walker with her wrist.

I hated leaving last night knowing she was still in a good bit of pain but your prayers are much appreciated. If you are in the area, I know she would enjoy the visit too!

Also keep my Mimi in your prayers. I think as she gets older we are seeing some signs of dementia and that is always hard to witness!

On My Knees

Merry Christmas from the ladies on My Mom's side of the family
(left to right: My Mom, My Mimi, Me, My Sister Amy and My Aunt Anna)


First and foremost let me wish all of you a belated Merry Christmas. I was a bit overwhelmed with framily (friends that are like family) events prior to leaving to see my actual family. I have also been sharing a bedroom with my 5-year old niece, Maddie, so this doesn't allow for late night pondering and/or blogging. In all honesty, I have fallen asleep on the couch almost every night around 10:30 or 11:00pm. And remember that's actually 9:30 or 10:00pm central time!

I hope you all had a great Christmas with your families or framilies and relished in the time together and the beauty of the season. I enjoyed the excitement of a 2-year old and 5-year old wide-eyed at the empty milk glass and cookie crumbs. Watching them tear into gift bags and squeal with delight at the gifts Santa, Aunt Emily, Grandma and Pepaw (Dad's new name now!) gave them. The joy of Christmas can be found in a child's eyes when they open a gift they have asked for. That same joy should sparkle in our eyes when we think about the gift our Heavenly Father has given us.

Tomorrow marks what we hope is the final surgery from the accident, 2009 and we hope forever. Mom will have outpatient surgery on her right knee. They are going to clean out the debris and repair the torn meniscus in two places.

According to Wikipedia:The knee joint joins the thigh with the leg and consists of two articulations: one between the femur and tibia, and one between the femur and patella.[1] It is the largest and most complicated joint in the human body.[2] The knee is a mobile trocho-ginglymus (i.e. a pivotal hinge joint),[3] which permits flexion and extension as well as a slight medial and lateral rotation. Since in humans the knee supports nearly the whole weight of the body, it is the joint most vulnerable both to acute injury and the development of osteoarthritis.

To quote Ron Burgandy the knee is "kindof a big deal." What's even more of a big deal is that the knee is the symbol of surrender. When we fall to our knees we are physically waving our white flag. We are letting go of any control and asking for help. It's "kindof a big deal" to show a posture of surrender when you kneel.

Our verse for tomorrow's surgery will be the following:
Isaiah 35:3-4 (New International Version)

3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
steady the knees that give way;

4 say to those with fearful hearts,
"Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
he will come to save you."

However, I hope our song for not only tomorrow but for 2010 is

Nicole C. Mullen's "On My Knees."
There are days,
When I feel
The best of me
Is ready to begin
Then they're days,
When I feel
I'm letting go,
And soaring on the wind
But I've learned in laughter or in pain,
How to survive

I get on my knees
I get on my knees
there I am before the Love that
Changes me
See, I don't know how,
But there's power
when I’m on my knees

I can be in a crowd,
or by myself.
or almost anywhere,
when I feel, there's a need
to talk with God, he is Emmanuel,
when I close my eyes,
no darkness there
there's only light

When I get on my knees
When I get on my knees
there I am before the Love that changes me
see I don't know how, but there's power
in the blue sky
I don't know how but there's power
and in the midnight
and I don't know how but there's power
when I’m on my knees
I get on my knees
I get on my knees
and there I am before the Love that changes me
I don't know how, but there's power
I don't know how but God gives me power
I don't know how but there's power
When I'm on my knees
A la la la
A la la la la la
A la la la
A la la la la la
A la la la
A la la la la la

Stitches

I am not a huge fan of anything hospital related, funny since Blake is going to be a doctor. But I don’t do well with blood, wounds and certainly not stitches. Something about them makes me really queasy. Even researching a bit for this blog made me look away from the computer screen a few times. I just wanted a basic definition NOT photos. And I definitely didn’t want to click on Google Images when I typed “stitches” in the search bar…

I get chills just thinking about that!


Anyways, my Mom got her stitches out yesterday. She had 13 in all from her wrist to her hand. She received the report that she is healing fine. The nurse and doctor said everything looked in order and she was doing great. Continue to pray for her healing and recovery especially since we are about to undergo the knee surgery in about 12 days.

So after avoiding several nasty photos I found out that the actual medical term for stitches is a surgical suture, which is a medical device, used to hold body tissues together after an injury or surgery. And the word suture actually means “join.”

I think if you were to have a literal picture of my heart it would be covered with stitches. I have had my fair share of heartbreak over the course of my 30 little years that required spiritual sutures. My heart has broken over relationships, friendships, family struggles, personal dreams, etc... Over and over, I, like many of you, have found myself broken in pieces having to pick up my heart from the floor and figure out how to piece it back together.

Luckily we don’t have to stitch up our own heart. The Great Physician, the Jehovah-Rophe (The Lord Who Heals) does that for us.

Psalm 147:3 (New International Version)
3 He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds
If Christmas is a hard time for you because it reopens past wounds or you currently are struggling with a new seeping wound, just remember this-The same tiny baby laying in a manager surrounded by baying animals and barnyard stench is the same All-Mighty, All-Powerful, Jehovah who can bind those wounds up with his healing hand.

I get chills just thinking about that!

525,600 Minutes...How Do You Measure a Year?

My favorite song to belt out in the car is from the Broadway show Rent called Seasons of Love. It starts...Five Hundred Twenty-Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes.

The number of minutes in one year.

One Year, 365 days, 1,440 hours, 525,600 minutes.

This Sunday we will have reached that marker.

December 6th marks a year since my parent’s accident. I was at a Christmas party with friends and had run up to my apartment to get my purse when I got the phone call.

My uncle called to tell me my Mom and Dad had ran off the road, flipped their car and hit a tree going about 55mph. That both were in the hospital and they were not doing well.

That’s when your heart stops beating for what feels like five minutes, your can’t breath and you go numb all over.

I had just changed jobs and was about to start a “new” journey. Little did I know my path was definitely about to change and this new journey was not quite the path I wanted to take.

The song goes on to ask: How do you measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife? In 525,600 minutes…

In hospitals- 3
In ambulance rides- 5
In weeks in ICU-2
In surgeries-I think we are up to 4 with one more to go
And in things that I stopped counting long long ago-prescriptions, doctors visits, rehab appointments, trips to Athens and Covington, TEARS but most importantly prayer and just like the song –How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love.

So what have I learned this year? What have the past 525,600 minutes taught me?

Scripture is the most powerful tool we have to face any challenge. I can’t begin to describe the comfort I have felt while reading the Bible this past year. It has been my warm blanket, my hiding place, my refuge. (Psalm 32:7)

Words cover over me and offer peace in times of despair. I am engulfed in the almighty flames of the Holy One and protected from any and every storm. The Bible is meant to be read! It is meant to be meditated on and kept in our hearts. These words are God-given and are new every morning! (Lam 3:22-23).

Jesus weeps and mourns with us. He suffers when we suffer, he bears our burdens, he wipes our tears, he hears our prayers and pleas. (John 11: 1-36)

He can work miracles. The miracles may be tangible evidence of healing in that they are direct answers to prayers. Or they may be the miracle he is working in your own heart-just the internal change that you experience through the prayer. (Phil 3: 7-11)


I have learned to love my family. We may not always be able to pick family members but we are in our family for a reason. Everyone plays a role and becomes strong when others are weak. The gift of family should never be taken for granted. The thought that I could have lost both of my parents a year ago makes me shudder. I am still to this day, guilty of rolling my eyes at the things they say or do; however, I am the luckiest girl in the world to have two amazing parents. I love you Mom and Dad!

I have learned what a real grown up adult relationship looks like with Blake. He has been my best friend, my very high shoulder to cry on, my rock and my joy. He was standing right beside me when I got that call over a year ago and hasn’t left my side since. I still have butterflies when I think about him, hear his voice or see him and my love for him has only grown by leaps and bounds through this whole experience. I am sure no one wants to have to watch the person they love or their families cry as much as we have over the course of this year. Blake has seen the Adams clan in every light and yet I think he still may spend part of Christmas with us so I guess we haven’t scared him away yet. I love you so much Blake Perry! Thanks for being there for me these past 525,600 minutes times 3. (Prov 17:17).

And I have also learned that when people offer help take it and whenever you can return the favor-do. My family and I would not be where we were without the kind help of friends, family, doctors, nurses, therapist and even strangers.

525,600 minutes, 525,600 moments so dear, 525,600 minutes, how do you measure a year….

Update from Surgery

I just wanted to update everyone and let you all know that the surgery went well. She did great and the surgeon feels like after recovery this should really alleviate the nerve pain she was experiencing.

I think she had to take some pain medicine last night to help her sleep but I think overall she is doing really well. They head to Athens today to remove the larger bandage and replace it with a smaller one and to make sure everything is healing normally.

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, emails and phone calls!

This Sunday will be a year since the accident! What a year it has been. I am sure I will post a reflection blog later.

Thanks again.

Surgery #1

Today is my Mom's first surgery of what we hope is only 2. She is having the carpel tunnel release to her right wrist at 2pm today in Athens. Pray for her spirit to feel calm and void of anxiety. Pray for healing and recovery. Pray for the guidance of the surgeon's hand.

Nehemiah 6:9 (New International Version)

9 They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, "Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed."
But I prayed, "Now strengthen my hands."

Help Me Carve the Gizzard???

Okay so I apologize if I tell this story incorrectly. But I have heard this story since I was a child. Apparently when my parents first got married they had to have a Thanksgiving with Navy friends and wives instead of family. So here is a newly married, YOUNG couple (10 years younger than me!) cooking their first Thanksgiving away from family in New Orleans.

Mom has the task of the turkey. Now I am not sure if she volunteered for this job or offered but either way she was very proud of her bird. So as my parents go to carve this lovely bird among new friends, they realize the gizzards were cooked along with it!

Now I can either spare you the details so that you don't read about this prior to your own Thanksgiving turkey but just know typically recipes call to remove the gizzards. I think my Mom said that she didn't know what that meant so she skipped over that step in the recipe. I could have made that up in my child's mind, so I apologize Mom!

But in order to get to the point of my post I need to sort of explain what the gizzards are. This is the Wikipedia entry:

Birds swallow food and store it in their crop if necessary. Then the food passes into their glandular stomach, also called the proventriculus, which is also sometimes referred to as the true stomach. This is the secretory part of the stomach. Then the food passes into the ventriculus (also known as the muscular stomach or gizzard). The gizzard can grind the food with stones that have been swallowed and pass it back to the true stomach and vice versa. Bird gizzards are lined with a tough layer made of the carbohydrate-protein complex koilin, to protect the muscles in the gizzard and to aid in digestion.

Okay so I am not a biology major but my analogy is that the gizzards help in digestion. And this is where the correlation comes in. You my friends, my prayer warriors, those who brought food, anyone who called, stopped by or sent a card or email have added in the digestion of this year.

It has not been the most enjoyable year for the Adams clan but if not for the "gizzards" to help break down the food and help us to digest it then I don't think I could have made it. If I did not have those around me and my family to help me get the nutrients and the rewards from this year's trial and heartache then I would have never grown or learned as much as I have.

I have so much to be thankful for but what I am most thankful for above all are the people in our lives that have helped us through this trial. Those that have showered us with love so that we can digest the struggles. I wish I had a way to pay you all back. To give you a gas card to drive wherever you need to go this holiday season, to cook your entire family turkey -no gizzards- and bring soup, cakes, breads, tea and all the fixin's, to call you and wish you a good day, to pray with you, to sit with you and to love you. If I could spend a week at each of your houses cleaning and cooking I would do it!

You have no idea how thankful I am that my parents have such amazing friends around them and that I have such amazing people around me to cheer me up, to let me cry, to hear me yell or complain while I dealt with the ripple effects of this year.

Thank you! Thank you for being a gizzard in my life this past year!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (New International Version)

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Psalm 100
A psalm. For giving thanks.
1 Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth.

2 Worship the LORD with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

3 Know that the LORD is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his [a] ;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

5 For the LORD is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations

Hospital Holidays and the Manger

Because of insurance reasons, my Mom has decided to go ahead and have 2 more surgeries before the end of the year. Why not end 2009 with a bang right!? (Bring on 2010 and all the health it has to offer!)

She will have the first surgery on her wrist Nov 30th. This is the carpel tunnel surgery that should fix some of the nerve pain she is currently feeling.

She will then have one more surgery Dec 28th. This is for her knee. She has experienced some pain in the past with this knee but we aren't sure if the accident aggravated the area more. So i am unsure exactly what kind of surgery this is but I believe it is to repair a torn meniscus. We will get more details after her MRI this week.

Please keep Mom in your prayers this November and December.

Selfishly I wanted our holidays to be pain free because of what we had to endure last year. I wanted to stay away from hospitals and the hospital cafeteria food at all cost this Christmas. But I suppose Mary wanted to have her baby in a room on a bed and not in a manger surrounded by farm animals.

Makes the reality of our Savior and his humble beginnings that much more meaningful. And in turn makes the reality of my selfish desires a bit insignificant.



Luke 2:4-7 (New International Version)

4So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

I had to add the lyrics to this song by Andrew Peterson at the urging of one my good friends-thanks Torry!

Lyrics to Labor Of Love :
It was not a silent night
There was blood on the ground
You could hear a woman cry
In the alleyways that night
On the streets of David's town

And the stable was not clean
And the cobblestones were cold
And little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
Had no mother's hand to hold

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love

Noble Joseph at her side
Callused hands and weary eyes
There were no midwives to be found
In the streets of David's town
In the middle of the night

So he held her and he prayed
Shafts of moonlight on his face
But the baby in her womb
He was the maker of the moon
He was the Author of the faith
That could make the mountains move

It was a labor of pain
It was a cold sky above
But for the girl on the ground in the dark
With every beat of her beautiful heart
It was a labor of love
For little Mary full of grace
With the tears upon her face
It was a labor of love

To see and hear the song set to an image from The Nativity Story please check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m4xY175ZYo

The Cancer Monster

Mimi had her surgery on Friday and everything went well. The lymph node had grown another centimeter or more so we are glad we were able to get it out when we could. At the time of the MRI it had not attached itself to any tissue but once the surgeon began to operate it actually had begun to attach itself to tissue. However, the surgeon feels good about the amount he was able to remove though and we will just closely monitor that area. Mimi is home now at my uncle's as of Saturday afternoon.

I have had some experience with Cancer because of family and friends going through the ordeal. Everyone has the same reaction. I can't describe the facial expression with words but everyone gives the same response of fear, sadness and worry.

The Merriam Webster definition describes cancer using words like -invasion, evil, destructive, fast spreading, harmful, abnormal.

I think if we could personify Cancer it would look a lot like these monsters I ran into a few years back at Halloween parties. Scary, nasty, evil, and terrifying. The people in these costumes had one intention that night-to frighten others. Luckily at the end of the night-the costume could be removed and the fear dissipated. Unfortunately that isn't always the case with Cancer. Or for that matter-sin.




And in the same way we have to treat cancer we sometimes have to treat sin. We have to surgically remove it from our life lest we become slaves to it and then often times it is still attached, lingering and we have to monitor it and make sure we go in for checkups and get out any remaining pieces.

Sometimes sin can even lead to death much like cancer but luckily God allowed his own Son to suffer so that we can be free from the consequences of sin.

Romans 6:20-23 (New International Version)
20When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! 22But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. 23For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[a] Christ Jesus our Lord.


As we begin to approach the holidays thank God when you see the ugly little monsters knocking on your door for candy, that you are free from the monster of sin. Give thanks to God when you sit at your table to feast with family at Thanksgiving, that you are free from the chains of sin. And finally, thank God when you open your gifts in front of your Christmas tree, that the gift of His Son is eternal life.

Update on Mimi

Hey Blogosphere!
I wanted to update you all and let you know that Mimi's cancer is localized to that lymph node. We will find out when she can have the operation to remove it and if she will require any follow up radiation. Thank you for your prayers. I know that no matter the outcome of these tests our God is a good God.

Your faithfulness to my family and now my extended family has amazed me so much and I am so thankful to know I am not alone in this journey.

Running the Same Race

I realized this past Saturday as I was running in the Race for the Cure, that I had ran this particular race about 4 or 5 times. In addition, I am also gearing up to run my 3rd or 4th Vulcan 10K next month. You would think after running both races so many times before I would either tire of the course or decide to run something else. Perhaps that is partially true but each time I run the race there is something different about it. The weather, the shoes, my time, my training schedule or the people I enter and run each race with.

The Vulcan 10k is one of my favorite races partly because 10 kilometers is my preferred distance. It’s 6.2 miles, which is long enough to challenge me but not so far that I am exhausted. The one thing about this race is that it has a few hills. So as part of my training every year I have a mapped out a 6 to 6.5 mile route around my apartment that I like to add back into my weekly runs.

For those of you that don’t know, I live in Vestavia Hills…Hills being the key word. There are a few flat portions in the route that I have created but you have to scale a few hills to get to them and once you are there then you have to run up a few more to get back home. For any skiers out there, I would classify a few of these as black diamonds. I am thinking if covered with snow and ice you could definitely have a nice run down.

Needless to say, I have run this route several times during my training over the years. However, the problem lies in that I only remember how I feel at the end of my training and not at the beginning. So when I start out to run the route I forget that it usually takes me a few tries to get the hang of the course.

So yesterday I started out to tackle my 6 mile route to prepare for my upcoming race. About a mile into my run I had the thought; can I quit and go home?
About two miles into my run I had the thought; this didn’t seem so hard last time?!
About three miles into my run I had the thought; I feel pretty good and I’m halfway done!

I would have to say that I think those same thoughts enter my head when I am going through a lesson that God is teaching me. Though the circumstances may be different the lessons I am learning aren’t. Whether God is teaching me about pride, forgiveness, self control, bitterness, selfishness, dependency, etc it is the same lesson that I have learned before.

I am pretty sure I have asked the same questions of God. Can I quit and go home? This didn’t seem so hard last time? Or I have my “a-ha” moment and I realize, this feels pretty good and I see the finish line up ahead.

So why do I run the same race? I know right away I never enter these races to win. I am not Kenyan, as a matter of fact I am a former fat girl who still dreams of Doritos and cupcake day at the Samford cafeteria. No, I enter these races to improve myself as a runner, to challenge myself, to have fun and maybe have a PR (personal record).

Same reasons we are still metaphorically running this Christian race. We aren’t ever doing this to “win.” Luckily, it was already DONE for us on the cross. We never are required to really DO anything any more. Christ already DID it all and paid the ultimate sacrifice for us. And by his grace we are saved. But out of gratitude we “run this race that we may share in the blessings and get a crown that lasts forever.” 1 Cor 9:23-25.

Often times running this race means learning a few of the same lessons over and over. Just like with my training, I have to keep at it because I am not the perfect runner. Luckily for us, Christ also keeps at it and teaches us the same things over and over for the same reasons.

James 1:2-5 (New International Version)
Trials and Temptations
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Here Comes the Flood

"When the flood calls; You have no home, you have no walls; In the thunder crash; You're a thousand minds, within a flash; Don't be afraid to cry at what you see.." Here Comes the Flood-Peter Gabriel


As many of you know living in the metro Atlanta area, it has been quite a week already with flood and rain. Birmingham hasn't had it nearly as bad as the Atlanta area. Just lots of nasty, rainy weather.

Luckily those lyrics above are simply that-lyrics. They aren't truth or fact. We do have a home when our physical walls come down due to a flood. Whether that flood is an actual deluge of water or if it is a series of circumstances that seem overwhelming and overflowing, we have a solid rock to stand on.

It seems that this year has brought flood after flood in our lives. Yesterday we found out that my grandmother, Mimi, was diagnosed with cancer. We aren't sure of what kind of cancer yet and are awaiting some other tests. She will be moving to Virginia to live with my Uncle and Aunt so that someone can take her to and from the doctor. I think once we know the type of cancer and treatment involved, we are going to evaluate our next steps.

Please keep her in your prayers and my Mom. Despite the hiccups of having Mimi stay with us while Mom was healing, she was there! I am forever indebted to her for staying by my Mom's side while she needed someone to feed, bath and help her do daily tasks.

And fortunately for us we know that those lyrics aren't truth. We do have a home. God will never destroy with a flood. In fact the waters may rush over us and it may feel as if we are drowning yet He will see us on the other side.

Genesis 9:11-12 (New International Version)
11 I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be cut off by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth."

12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come:

Isaiah 43:2-4 (New International Version)

2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I give Egypt for your ransom,
Cush [a] and Seba in your stead.

4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for you,
and people in exchange for your life.

Happy Anniversary!

My parents anniversary is on Thursday, September 17th. They will have been married 42 years. I was trying to think of one word or phrase that sums up their marriage in my mind. It came to me via the radio. "I will be here" by Steven Curtis Champan. I know its one of the more overused marriage songs but it really seems to fit for my parents. They are always there for each other! I can never think of a time outside of when Mom was in the hospital that Dad was not by her side or vice versa. It really seems to fit especially since the future years seem a bit murky and unclear due to this accident and the life changes. I love you Mom and Dad-thank you for showing me a picture of a beautiful marriage and how amazing it is to have parents that have been together for 42 years!

I Will Be Here(Steven Curtis Chapman)

Tomorrow morning if you wake up
and the sun does not appear
I will be here
If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

I will be here
When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen
And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here
Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here.

As a treat here are some pictures I have of my parents from a dvd I did for them for their 40th! It shows you that Dad and Mom definitely are there for each other through all of life!

Contentment and Cupcakes

Sometimes I don't have a lot to offer in the way of updates. However, I know from what my parents tell me that there are those of you out there that enjoy reading the blog. I typically only like to write when it is inspired by God or if He has laid something on my heart to share with you that correlates to my family's experience.

That being said, I have felt that I need to continue this blog and try to update each week with something that God has laid on my heart whether that applies to my parent's healing or not. I think in general it applies to overall healing and when our spiritual life is being healed and restored the result is a wellspring of healing in other areas.

I have been thinking a lot about contentment. Being content in all situations. In my bible study we discussed the life of Paul and how he consciously made an effort to be content despite his circumstances. Contentment isn't a feeling or emotion as much as we would actually want it to be, rather it is a choice. It is a discernible effort you and I make to refresh out attitude and minds to choose to be content in our circumstances.

Easier said than done...

Without going into much detail, I would say that for the past 9 or 10 months since my parent's accident I have struggled with this concept. I have been held at bay because I allowed my circumstances to overwhelm me and choke the joy and contentment from my daily life. Despite staying in the Word, praying and surrounding myself with Christian advice, I have still been uncomfortable in my own skin. I would pray, cry, lament, complain, whine until ultimately I was having a full on pity party every day. For those of you that have experienced this-thanks for still being my friend!

It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I finally decided that Satan would no longer have a foothold on my contentment. I would instead "cast my cares and anxiety" on God and choose to be content. (Mind you we studied contentment several weeks, perhaps even months ago, in bible study and I am just now coming to terms with what I heard.)

Is this easy? No! Is this fun? No! Am I happy? Sometimes! But how self centered of me to think that this life is about ME! My happiness, my excitement, my glory. No, rather this thing we have...life. This life is about glorifying God no matter what he has laid before us. When we choose contentment we are saying to others and to the evilness of this world, the master of deception, Satan-back off! I have the power of the Holy Spirit, the same power of resurrection, coursing through my veins and I will not be held captive any longer to the desires of temporary things.

I can't say that because I have decided to take baby steps to begin to be content that my life has dramatically changed. My circumstances are still the same as before. The same things that caused me to complain and whine are still there. I can however, say that my heart, thoughts and hopefully speech has become less negative and more positive. I am learning each day to choose to be content.

Paul tends to say these things a bit more poetic and he was also sitting in a jail cell-hungry, tired, beaten and bruised and constantly praising and preaching the gospel. I am sitting at a desk, drinking coffee, finishing breakfast and looking out a window. I doubt I have room to complain!

Philippians 3:7-14 (New International Version)

7But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. 10I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:11-13 (New International Version)
11I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

So the best tangible, concrete example of contentment I can give you would be...cupcakes! A tiny personal cake just for you. In my group of friends we love giving everyone cupcakes for their birthday or special events. We have been known to to go to a bakery or deli just for the cupcakes. There are a few places around town if you are local to Birmingham that I suggest you visit-Urban Standard, Pastry Arts bakery and Dreamcakes. The other night a few of us had had a bad week-insect bites, cars being broken into and job frustrations. We decided that cupcakes would solve our problems! I ordered wedding cake as my flavor and I definitely think that as I unpeeled the wrapper from that magical little cake my whole outlook changed in an instant. Yes, the tangible form of contentment would in fact be, a cupcake sprinkled with edible diamond fairy dust that personifies what I think heaven may in fact taste like!

I don't have an actual photo of the cupcake but this is as close as I could come up with to give you an idea.

Nap Time, Caverns, Ramblings and an Update

As some of you know, I babysit two children every week. They are 8 and 5. The 5-year old officially started school last week. She has always gone to a learning center but now she was a big girl and headed off to the same school as her brother. Last week the excitement of a new school kept her going and she was enjoying seeing her brother. This week however the reality of school has now hit her.

When I saw her I asked her what was wrong. With a pouty face she said, "This boy kept talking during nap time and I didn't even get to sleep." It had thrown off her whole day. She didn't get to rest! Without proper rest an entire day at school can be pretty hard. It throws off your routine.

How many times as adults do we crave the simplicity of Kindergarten? The need for a daily rest. The restoration that comes from living without stress or worry.

My family needs rest. Hear my plea today as I ask for prayer for everyone in my immediate family. My Mom found out she has carpel tunnel on the right wrist. Hence the nerve pain. This will have to be evaluated on Sept 1st. The accident has either caused or added to existing conditions. Her knee and hip are also in constant pain and she will now have to have therapy on those areas as well.

My Dad needs rest. He has taken on the responsibility of husband, grocery shopper, cook and housekeeper. I am worried he is doing too much without knowing he is doing too much. I don't want him to wake up one morning overwhelmed with stress and worry from daily tasks.

My sister and her family are dealing with a typical two year old that may also have some greater development problems. We are awaiting some testing and results to see how to tackle the toddler years. Everyone involved needs rest.

We heard an illustration in church on Sunday that I must share with you. If anyone has been to DeSoto Caverns in Alabama you will understand. But the worship leader said that as a child they went down into the cavern and the guide told them he was going to turn off all flashlights so they could see how dark it was. Our worship leader said that he had never been in such a dark place. His initial reaction was to immediately put his hands out in front of him or to the side, grasping for anything to steady him in the darkness. Yet in our moments of darkness instead of grasping for anything to hold on to, why can't we raise our hands above our heads and surrender to God. In our darkness why can't we look to the light?

I, myself, am doing okay. I have definitely had better days. Honestly, I can't quite make out my next step to take in this darkness but I will try to keep my hands up towards the light as He guides me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight. [a]

Psalm 23 (New International Version)

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.

Summer’s beginning to give up her fight

Summer’s beginning to give up her fight
-mystery by Indigo Girls

This is the last week of summer for many kids across the country. Summer may not officially be giving up her fight until September according to the calendar but the attitude and carefree nature of summer vacation ends when school begins. Parents, students and teachers return to the daily routine of the school semester and trips to the beach or lake are replaced with football games and tailgates. Change is around the corner for many.

I turned 30 not to long ago. I will admit I had a slight panic attack. I really enjoyed my 20s…well my late 20s. After I made plenty of mistakes post college I learned what I really wanted in friendships, relationships, family and work and was happy to settle into many of those places and hit my stride in my late 20s. I met some of my dearest friends in the world, I found the love of my life and I think I know now what I want out of career.

I didn’t want these days to go away. I wanted to dwell forever in my independence and youth. I wanted to have time to make a few more mistakes maybe and time to really get to know myself without having to grow up. I think this past year has been one of the harder years for me. I had to grow up a bit faster than I wanted too with my parents’ accident. Yet I also realized I craved and desired my parents and the nearness of them much like I did as a little girl afraid of the dark.

I think I have finally accepted the end of my “summer” and I am eager to begin adulthood with grace and dignity. I want to continue growing and cultivating the friendships I have made in my early twenties. I want to learn more about how I can show my love and support to Blake as we navigate through this med school/rotation/residency relationship. I see my ideal career over the horizon and I am ready to work for it and achieve it.

The change that is around the corner is actually as exciting as a game day Saturday in Athens, GA among a few of your closest 80,000 or so friends.

I think the best part of this change is that no matter what I am still precious in His sight. That never changes.

I don’t think my parents ever imagined they would be dealing with any disabilities as they head towards the season of retirement. Their accident has left a few scars behind that will require some changes or adaptation to their daily routine. Yet no matter what, my parent’s are still precious in His sight.

Summer may have figuratively ended but with it brings the expectancy of autumn, cooler nights and the brilliant colors of the changing landscape declaring the handy work of God.


Isaiah 43:4a (New International Version)
4 Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,

"It's a thrilling tale, I wish to do it justice."

That quote may not jump out at you but it sort of hits home for all that my Mom is going through right now with her hand. If anyone is a Harry Potter fan then you'll start to figure out where I am headed. Especially since Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince opened last Wednesday. I saw it at midnight on the 14th and let me tell you that it's much harder to wake up for work the next day after a 3 hour movie.

But I digress...If you have any of Harry Potter knowledge then this will simply be a review, if you are completely in the dark then I'll try to give you the short synopsis. In book six we find Harry and his friends on the edge of a raging war between good and evil. Dumbledore is oddly absent for most of book five and when he returns his hand is blackened and withered. Harry asks Dumbledore five different times what happened to his sickly, injured hand. Most of Dumbledore's responses are simply to brush the question aside as there are more important matters to discuss. (In the movie we never really hear the answer but pick up book six to hear part of the tale!)

Needless to say finally Dumbledore tells a brief story. Some background knowledge is necessary for all you Muggles who have not yet read the series but in order to destroy Voldermort (the most evil wizard of all) we have to find all 7 Horcrux that contain a piece of his soul. In book two Harry found and destroyed one without knowing and now in book six Dumbledore found another- a ring! The passage can be found on page 503 and is as follows:

"You are forgetting...you have already destroyed one of them. And I have destroyed another."
"You have?" said Harry eagerly.
"Yes, indeed," said Dumbledore, and he raised his blackened, burned-looking hand. "The ring, Harry. Marvolo's ring. And a terrible curse there was upon it too. Had it not been -- forgive me the lack of seemly modesty -- for my own prodigious skill, and for Professor Snape's timely action when I returned to Hogwarts, desperately injured, I might not have lived to tell the tale. However, a withered hand does not seem an unreasonable exchange for a seventh of Voldemort's soul. The ring is no longer a Horcrux."

I think the part that I enjoy and relate too currently is - "However, a withered hand does not seem an unreasonable exchange for a seventh of Voldermort's soul."
If we stretch this analogy to my Mom's own hand I would say the same thing-"However, a withered hand does not seem an unreasonable exchange for the potential of possibly losing her or my Dad for good."

Sometimes I get too overwhelmed with the negatives from this occurrence in my life but to then see that the accident could have potentially taken my parents away from me for good then I say we came out okay if we are dealing with a permanently withered hand. Of course it's not my hand it's hers and it's her decision whether or not she wants to have surgery but I love that withered hand if it's a reminder that she escaped something much worse!

I think the Bible even speaks of this a little too:
1 Corinthians 15:54-55 (New International Version)
54When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory."[a]
55"Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?"[b]


And who said Harry Potter didn't have a spiritual element? Huh? That's what I thought naysayers!

Dumbledore's hand is cut off in this photo but you get the idea-see the movie if you are still struggling for a visual.

Update on My Mom

I have an update on My Mom from the orthopedic. Please pray with us as My Mom decides what to do next for her right hand. She has been wearing splints on her 3 fingers-middle, ring and pinky to straighten them out. We have seen lots of improvement on the middle finger however according to her doctor there has been only small changes to the ring and pinky and they will not get any better.

He has given my Mom the option of experimental surgery to straighten them out. The drawbacks are that my Mom would have to have yet another surgery, the surgery may not work or do anything much more, and she would have to go back to square one with her therapy.

Please pray for us as we try to decide what the best option is for her and if she is ready for another surgery. He did however give her the green light to drive so that is another prayer request for us and as the search for a new car begins.

Thank you for your prayers and I'll be doing another longer post later.

He Still Uses Us!

Today I came across a devotional that reminded me that no matter our physical impairments God still uses us. I laugh when I think about this passage below:

But Moses said to the LORD, "O my Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor even now that you have spoken to your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." Then the LORD said to him, "Who gives speech to mortals? Who makes them mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to speak." But he said, "O my Lord, please send someone else." Then the anger of the LORD was kindled against Moses and he said, "What of your brother Aaron the Levite? I know that he can speak fluently; even now he is coming out to meet you, and when he sees you his heart will be glad. You shall speak to him and put the words in his mouth; and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth, and will teach you what you shall do. He indeed shall speak for you to the people; he shall serve as a mouth for you, and you shall serve as God for him.
-Exodus 4:10-16 (NRSV)


Moses didn't want to be used by God b/c he stuttered. He didn't like to speak in public, he got nervous and didn't know the right things to say. God wasn't taking no for an answer.

How many times do we hear God calling us to a place, ministry, person or even in the place we already are and we say-No please don't make me God. God just laughs and says-yeah okay good excuse Emily but I still have a plan for you. A plan that will change the course of history, a plan that will alter your life and others, a plan that will blow open the waters so that you can walk through them unscathed.

God used Moses and he parted the Red Sea. Not too shabby for a guy who stutters.


Just think what God can do with me and you. My Mom may not have full use of her arms but that doesn't mean God isn't calling her to greater things. I wonder what He is calling you to do today?

The Rounded Brush

The round brush! It is the brush your hairdresser uses to give you the most perfect blow-out ever. I always leave the salon with the bounciest volume, shiniest locks and a clean smooth coif.

Then I go home and I get my same round brush and attempt the feat all over again only to wind up with one side straight the other side wavy. One side fluffy and full the other side as flat as a door mat or the rounded brush stuck in my hair.

I have sworn off the rounded brush after one too many times of that same incident occurring. I have seen my reflection in the mirror with a brush stuck on the side of my head more times than I would like to admit. I have seen my sister in tears for the very same reason. And just a few months ago I had to witness the precious little 5 year old girl that I babysit in the same precarious situation, with tears streaming down her face. I had to tell her that all women learn this and luckily she learned it at an early age.

Typically yanking the brush from your own hair while trying hard not to pull too much hair out with two functioning normal arms and hands is a hard task…doing it with a half mobile arm and a crippled hand is perhaps something else that should be celebrated.

My Mom had to deal with this the other week. Like I said-she learned to wash and dry her own hair but unfortunately the love/hate affair with the rounded brush came back to haunt her. She said it took her nearly over an hour to get the brush out. She was so exhausted from the experience she sat down and cried. I think I would have too!

But you know what-I bet you that was the best occupational therapy she had all day. She probably used her arm and hands more than she had all week. I am sure that it was not the most practical method of working her fingers and arm movements but she had to do in order to get the brush out. So yet again what looks to be a horrible experience can be viewed as “beauty for ashes!”

You know the more I think about this situation the more I see a silver lining. I haven’t been much of a Pollyanna these days but I am seeing this experience with a little more of an eternal perspective. Often times God sends things our way that seem like a darn rounded brush stuck in our head. We started out trying to achieve glossy, “Jermack bounce-back beautiful hair” with our life and instead all we got was a brush twisted around in a tangled web of hair and bristles. Then ultimately the knotted up mess becomes untangled and we are free of the brush. So we may not look like we just stepped out of the salon but we don’t have a brush stuck in our head anymore and we had to go through quite an educating ordeal.

Sort of like when we think we know where our path is going and we hit an unexpected detour and instead of that taking us in the wrong direction it really allows us to either avoid more damage or obstacles ahead. We come up better in the end. I need to remember that God’s timing is perfect, he has a plan that is far greater than my own agenda and I don’t need to despise the detour but rather take delight in the fact that I have a new road open for me.

No one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.
-Isaiah 64:4 (NIV)

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday Mom!
This is such a special day and I am so happy you are able to celebrate it with friends and family. I love you to the moon and back.

Mom also celebrated washing her own hair yesterday. She said that she may have made a bit of a mess but she was able to use the kitchen sink and wash and dry her own hair. It's the little things that we need to celebrate.

Voyage of the Dawn Treader

I have a love affair with young adult literature. I have read all the Harry Potters, all the Chronicles of Narnia, the Twilight saga, and too many Newberry Award winners to count.

My dear friend Amy D. is the daughter of an Alabama award winning middle school teacher. We usually ask her for summer reading lists and new titles when we’ve hit a slump or are still waiting for the hope that one more Harry Potter book will come out.

I remember being in Barnes and Noble one night with Mrs. D. and she asked me, “What book did you read as I child that brought reading to life?” It took me 2.1 seconds to respond, “The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.”

Narnia is the place where reading came alive to me. Narnia is the reason I want a walk-in closet. Narnia is the reason I still think Kitty Lynn can talk. Narnia is the reason I visualize Christ as a majestic, powerful and loving lion. And ultimately, Narnia is the reason I grow as a Christian by learning life lessons in a world of make believe.

One of my favorite books of the series is “Voyage of the Dawn Treader.” If you haven’t read it, please do yourself a favor and go to the library, bookstore, or amazon.com and pick up a copy. Hurry before it’s a movie! (You have time it doesn’t come out until December 2010)

In the story there is a sour little boy named, Eustace Scrubb. He is really quite the annoyance and very unkind. He is selfish, always wanting to control things, boastful and constantly complaining. (I realize that I have just described my own self the more I type, which is why I absolutely love this story). One day, while they have stopped on an island during their voyage, Eustace stumbles into a dragon liar filled with treasure. His own greed causes him to actually turn into a dragon. I won’t go into detail but his sinful nature has become personified in the actual form of a dragon.

For six days he wanders the island in the form of a dragon. He is miserable. However, he slowly changes his heart and begins to help the others-once they know its Eustace and not an actual dragon. He catches food, warms his friends on cold nights and flies them around the island.

Finally Aslan appears and tells Eustace to follow him. He tells Eustace to “scrubb” off the dragon scales and get in the water. Eustace does this 3 times but each time the scales grow back. Finally Aslan must claw and tear the scales off for him. This piercing hurts Eustace but finally he is a boy again. Glowing, shiny and new.


Have you figured out the allegory yet? Have I figured it out, is the better question? I have to finally let go of my selfishness, control, anger, sin and allow God to claw away at my sin and wash me so I can become whole again. What a beautiful image of our Savior. He is a lion tearing away our dirty scales to reveal the glowing beauty that is hidden beneath. It is him and him alone that can reveal our true glory.

This has been a constant lesson for me these past few weeks. All things control and surrender related. I think the first time I read that story again as an adult I began crying, knowing all too well that I was the dragon. Luckily, my own Savior will tear away those scales-only if I let go and let Him.

An update on My Mom-She has actual physical pain to deal with though in the meantime. Her right hand received a good report yesterday at the doctor. He said to continue wearing those splints to stretch out the tendons in her 3 fingers. The doctor did see some progress and we now have the official order for Mom to begin outpatient therapy. Thank you for the prayers and your continued support of our family. I can’t wait till Mom’s accident related “scales” are finally washed away and she is her old/new self!

Ephesians 4:20-24 (New International Version)
20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Insurance vs. Assurance

I am sure I am not the only one has typed out a post complaining about the headaches of insurance. On Friday my Mom received a call from her OT Therapist that she no longer is allowed to come out to the house for therapy. It has been close to six months and therefore insurance no longer will cover in home therapy. I guess in six months my mom should be able to drive herself to outpatient therapy?

Not quite...

It then makes you question the role of insurance. What if you had the assurance that no matter what medical expenses you encountered it would be covered? That you didn't have to worry about finding a loophole or convincing someone you deserved the needed medical services...that it would be covered no questions asked.

Thank goodness our salvation is not like insurance but rather is assurance. That no matter what you do, or don't do, no matter what your "pre-existing" conditions are, Christ's blood is your payment into eternity. He has already paid all the cost for you and you luckily have the assurance that you are now allowed to live an abundant life beyond the grave.

I know we were at a loss and a bit discouraged on Friday when we heard the insurance news and weren't quite sure as to what the next steps were to take in this recovery process. Well the body of Christ has once again stepped up to the plate and blown me away by their humility, gentleness and patience with my family. Members of my parent's Sunday school class said they will help take my Mom to and from her house to therapy during the week. We didn't even have to really spend time worrying about this issue. We had assurance that we were taken care of despite what our insurance company was telling us.

Like a good neighbor...You're in good hands...slogans for insurance companies and yet these can also be slogans for the body of Christ I am so unworthy to be a part of. When I went home at Easter, my parent's pastor preached about how he wanted First Baptist of Covington to be a church people knew about because of the actions of the congregation.

Well I am one grateful daughter in Birmingham, AL that surely knows about this church. I have been amazed time and time again at the outreach to my parents. My parents had only been going to FBC for about 10 months before the accident happened and it was if we, as a family, had been there for our whole lives the way we have been treated. Food, phone calls, errands, more food, cards, even more food and now someone offering to take my Mom to therapy.

What a beautiful picture of the church. Paul talked about just this in Eph 4:1-6
Ephesians 4:1-6 (New International Version)

Ephesians 4
Unity in the Body of Christ
1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

I think our assurance is found in the last part of verse six-who is over all and through all and in all. God is never out of the loop, He is always in control.

I am so honored to share the same God, Lord and faith with the members of FBC and how they have reached out and loved on us and carried the Adams family's burdens. I am humbled at their gentleness and patience and motivated and inspired by the love they have shown us to continue to spread that unity among my own family of faith locally.

Sunshower

So as I have posted before my life seems to mirror the weather. We have had a sudden patch of storms roll through Birmingham lately. The weeks will be day after day of sunshine and then our weekends are rainy and dreary. This past Friday I experienced both-I was driving in bright sunlight and it was raining, almost pouring with not a cloud in sight.

I feel like the past few weeks I haven’t felt the urge to post much. Of course if anything is happening with my parents progress I want to post and tell you all about it but the fountain of what God was teaching me hasn’t felt to be overflowing quite like it was around 5 months ago when this crisis struck.

Maybe nothing is going on? Maybe God isn’t teaching me anything? Maybe this is the end of the blog until Mom is fully restored. No, not quite. Everything is going on, God is constantly teaching me things and I feel like I was called to continue this blog for reasons unbeknownst to me.

I think what’s going on here is that my spiritual life is experiencing a bit of a sunshower. Have you ever been in a sunshower? That’s where I feel like I am right now. Around me good things are happening. I still have my job in an economic crisis, my parents are healing, my friends are supportive and I have a great relationship with Blake that is headed in a wonderful direction…BUT I am not happy. I say happy as opposed to joyful-I’ll get to that later.

I just feel like even though I am covered over in good things it’s rainy inside. I couldn’t place my finger on it. Was something wrong at work, was I mad at a friend, am I still dealing with the post-traumatic stress of my parent’s accident? No, quite frankly, I wasn’t in the word. I wasn’t reading God’s word daily. I wasn’t relying on his strength to pull me through each day-sunny or rainy.

It finally hit me that despite my sunshower God is still present in my life and can offer me an eternal joy. I can be joyful even if internally I feel a bit down or dreary. As a matter of fact, often times the best part of a sunshower is that a rainbow will appear. That joy will spring out of your passing shower. That a promise offered by God that he will never leave us or forsake us is written in the sky.

Genesis 9:12-15 (New International Version)
12 And God said, "This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: 13 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. 14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, 15 I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.

Prayer Request

Quick prayer request. My mom fell yesterday at the house. She stood up too quickly and because of the neck surgery she sometimes get lightheaded. Needless to say, she became very dizzy and felt like she was about to faint and started to fall backwards. She ended up falling on her bottom and her left side of her shoulder and head. She is okay but I think it scared her and shook her up a good bit. She was by herself so it was a little harder to also get back on two feet once she went down.

Please pray that there was no damage done to the c3-c6 area of her neck where the operation took place. Pray that her left arm did not have any set backs and that she will wake up today with the same range of motion she had yesterday. Pray that she will not be in a lot of pain from the actual impact to the rest of her body. Please also pray for safety when she is by herself at the house.

Thank you for your prayers and thoughts!

Psalm 118:13-14 (New International Version)

13 I was pushed back and about to fall,
but the LORD helped me.

14 The LORD is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation.

Happy Mother's Day

So if my Mom reads this before Mother's Day then she will be surprised because this blog entry is all about her today. I wanted to get her a special gift this year. I always try to get a gift that I know she will love but this year is more special of course simply because despite her pain and trauma these past 5 months she has still been my Mom. I decided to buy her a Willow Tree figurine. Mom has several already but when I saw this I knew right away it was made just for my Mom. Her name is Courage- and her tag line reads:Bringing a triumphant spirit, inspiration and courage.

That is my Mom!



They look a like I think. Maybe not right now but someday soon Mom will stand with both arms outstretched and overhead triumphantly towards our Maker praising him for total restoration. She has definitely been an inspiration to me and shown such courage through this whole ordeal.

Maybe she was in a morphine induced haze but I remember clearly some of the things she told me when she was in the NCCU back in December. I was just sobbing away because I knew I had to leave and drive back to Birmingham that night and she said, "I know it looks bad. Don't cry. I'll be okay." It was so motherly. Here she was on a bed unable to move her arms and neck hooked up to many machines and had morphine pumping through her veins to control the pain and she said the same things she said to me as a little girl, " I know your scraped knee looks bad. Don't cry. You'll be okay."

Even now when she is at home by herself all day still in pain or restrained because of her limited mobility she still listens to me. I remember calling her about a month and half ago when I felt really sick and all I could do was cry and she listened and said, "I know you feel bad. It's okay to cry and let it out but you'll get better." I couldn't believe she was the one telling me I'd be okay. She still couldn't move her left arm and had a cast on her right arm and she wasn't complaining. No she simply empathized with the pain and nurtured me as if I were 5 years old again and figuratively lifted me up in her arms over the phone.

My Mom is a strong woman. I forget this sometimes but then I think about all she has already been through before this accident. All the surgeries for her neck and jaw, all the pain with other physical ailments and emotional heartache and here she is with yet another obstacle. Only a few times has she broken down and cried because of the pain or discomfort. Only a few times has she said she was tired of being sick or at stuck at home. But more often than not when I call her everyday after work she is happy and her bubbly self. Full of life and energy and pleased to be talking to her little girl. She is definitely one of the strongest women I know.

I love you Mom! Happy Mother's Day

Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Right Hand

I have a few prayer requests today before I get started posting. Specifically right now Blake is in the middle of his US Medical Exams-part I (aka the boards). It is a 7 hour test covering his first two years of med school. He is taking it in Mobile, AL and went in around 9am to begin. I won't hear from him until he is done. Keep him in your prayers if you happen to read my blog today. If you are reading and it's after the fact-pray for the results! He gets them probably in about a month or so.

My Mom has an update on her progress that I wanted to share with all of you. Please keep these as major prayer requests as we head into what is almost 6 months from the accident. She went to see her neurosurgeon last week who said that her healing is coming along nicely. She currently can bend her left arm at the elbow but not raise it above her head. Continue to request this in prayer. We know it will come back but we need to really cover that arm in prayer. Time is definitely all it will take but I would love for her to be able to move it more freely before the end of summer!

She also went to see the orthopedic last week for her right hand/wrist. Her wrist has healed perfectly but her fingers however are not doing as good. She continues to struggle on stretching those 3 fingers (middle finger, ring finger and pinky) out properly. She will have to wear a splint for an hour a day for each finger in order to get those little digits to work properly.

So this got me thinking how often just the right hand is mentioned in the Bible. If you have ever felt like the Bible isn't life applicable, think again. I did a search on biblegateway.com and found 136 verses that pertained to the right hand!


This one is my favorite and it will be my verse, my battle cry and my song to God for my Mom's continued healing.
Psalm 16:8 (New International Version)

8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

How can we even be scared when the creator of the world and my entire being is at our right hand? Even if that right hand may be a bit crippled at this moment he is still there guarding us and protecting us.

How can we be alone or fearful when he is there with us at the very place of our pain?
Psalm 73:23 (New International Version)

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

How can we be worried when he stands ready to crush those that persecute us?

Psalm 110:5 (New International Version)

5 The Lord is at your right hand;
he will crush kings on the day of his wrath.

And although I know this verse is personifying wisdom I like to think it is also a verse just for my Mom right now and is a promise to her complete and total healing!

Proverbs 3:16 (New International Version)

16 Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.

1:35:15...

That was my time in the Statue to Statue 15k on Saturday. I ran from the Vulcan Statue in Southside to the Miss Liberty Statue in Liberty Park. I feel pretty good about my time actually. This was clearly, like the t-shirt says,"The South's Toughest 15K." It's never good when the shirt brags about it being hard. I walked up two hills, which I think should actually be labeled black diamonds. I have never walked in a race so this was a first but I have also never ran a course that proudly boasts of being one of the toughest courses in a region!

I wish I could say that I had some sort of spiritual enlightenment while running the race or that I found a deeper meaning while my hips and knees pounded as my feet hit the pavement. No, all I know is that I was incredibly glad it was over. I was so happy it was over I didn't even see my friend Amy and Blake standing at the finish line aptly holding their own sign in honor of Miss Liberty-Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses...

I feel good though! I have accomplished a major goal. I will definitely go and put on that t-shirt today when I run the flattest 3 mile course in town!

Now in retrospect I can pull some life applications to the course. The race was pretty bare bones-no timing chips, no large crowds, no fancy finish line. It was just a group of people out for an early morning run. There were many a hill to climb. Run, walk, crawl whatever form of transportation you decided on worked in this situation because there was no other way to get over the mountain. Once we tackled the two major hills on mile 6 and 7 it was pretty much down hill the rest of the race.

Life is very similar to this course. There isn't anything fancy about it. No one cheering you on every single second/mile of the day. Just a group of people wanting to get the most out of their day to day. There are hills to climb. We can chose to walk, run and/or crawl over our metaphorical mountains and often times I have done all three options. Yet once we accomplish a goal we can go flying downhill into the finish line.

The race would not be the same however if there wasn't someone leading us onward. Luckily, someone knew the course b/c I had no clue where I was. There is a leader who takes us over the hurdles, who tells us which way to turn, who does show up and yell, "Ladies this is your last hill! You are almost there."

I think fortunately for us we have Jesus there with us even when it feels like you are left all alone on the course. My Mom has some uphill battles to climb this spring. Her fingers on her right hand are not working properly. They still feel like a claw and curl in. She is walking up this "hill" right now and trying her hardest to reach the peak so she can scale down the other side to mobility. Her left arm bends at the elbow but she is still unable to raise it over head.

Please continue praying for us as we face this hill as a family. I know the other side is a promising downhill run to Miss Liberty but we just need to reach the top. We aren't there yet and it does feel like each day it gets a little steeper. Luckily, we can look over our shoulder and see how far up we have already climbed.

Thank you for your prayers

1 Corinthians 9:24-28 (New International Version)

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. 26Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. 27No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

Runner's High

I have a 15k next weekend. It’s roughly 9.3 miles. I haven’t trained for anything over a 10k in a while. Last year I ran a half in April and a 10k in November. That was my last long race. So needless to say, I have had to really light a fire to get motivated.

I did all the things necessary to get prepared. First and foremost I had to get new shoes. I love going to those runner specialty shoe stores. They measure your foot, watch you run, have you try on their recommendations and let you take as much time as possible to make the final decision. I used to be intimidated to go into those stores. I didn’t think I was really a true runner, only logging my 12 miles a week unless I’m training. I do not have a runner’s body by any means and it wasn’t until I realized that there is no ideal “runner’s body.” We come in all shapes and sizes and run all different distances. It made me feel a lot better about myself and then pretty good to know that I belonged to a unique subculture out there!

I got my shoes and the next step was to get my music, gear and training schedule. I logged into runnersworld.com and went to their smart coach feature-plugged in my info and ta-da: instant training schedule. I have been training since March 9th so I think I am ready. I am still a little nervous because this is a pretty tough course.

I have done lots of different things to motivate me during my training. I have run with friends, ran a race in the rain that I talked about a few posts ago, and even put up a few pictures in my office to inspire me. One of my favorite quotes is a Nike ad from my Runner’s World magazine. I posted it below.



I love that it reminds me that running definitely gives back more. I may hate every minute of the run but in the end I gained more from it than it took from me. Typically on stressed days-I have gained clarity, peace of mind, and confidence. When I run with friends, I have gained 4, 5, 6 or more miles of a shared experience. I have grown closer to them and bonded and running definitely gave more back to me. I may lose a pound or so in the process but typically I use it as an excuse to eat more! And as a former fat girl-being able to eat is definitely a gift back!

This past Monday it was cold. A lot colder than it had been in the past weeks. I did not want to run at all. I even had to go home after work and get my running tights, gloves and ear warmers before I could hit the trail. I had 6 miles to run and I was dreading every moment of that run. I remembered my Nike quote-Running never takes more than it gives back. And so in sticking with the company’s slogan, I had to “just do it.” It was by far one of my best runs all year. I hit that “runner’s high” somewhere around the 3rd or 4th mile and just breezed through the rest of the trail.

It got me thinking about how all too often we as Christians view our spiritual walk as this painful drudgery. We think of excuses or a way out. We are tired, it’s too cold, I haven’t been training very long, my feet hurt, I need new shoes, etc… Why? Why do we do this? Swap out running and replace with Jesus. Jesus never takes more than He gives back…Believe in Jesus. It was a bit more convicting that I wanted to hear.

In the midst of my 6 mile run I hit a “runner’s high.” Let me tell you that I have never hit a “runner’s high” during a short casual run. Typically miles 1 or 2 are often the hardest miles. It got me thinking about our own spiritual highs and lows. It is during the most difficult and arduous times in my life when I hit that “runner’s high.” During a grueling journey, I find solace and comfort in the only hope I have, Jesus. I believe in the one thing that gets me to the finish line or stopping point. The one thing that won’t take more than it gives back.

This Easter rejoice in your risen Savior. You have a Father who conquered death, who overcame the grave, who is ready and willing to carry your burdens.

Thank you for traveling on this journey with us. We still have quite a way to go. And all along you have been there on the sidelines cheering us on, giving us water and goo when we needed a rest, walk or energy. You are the reason that we will go to church as a family this Easter Sunday. We are able to truly enjoy these holidays. Christmas of 2008 will not be forgotten, as we spent that time in the hospital and allowed my parents to see each other for the first time since the accident and now Easter of 2009 will stand out as well. We will welcome the dawn and celebrate the Resurrection of our Savior.

Chariots of Fire, Eric Liddell: I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure.

Cardboard Testimonies

I had one of the most amazing experiences last night. I was fortunate enough to go to a service at The Lovelady Center with a group of women from my church. It is a women's shelter for ladies who have been incarcerated or those coming off the streets or running from abusive relationships. We were treated to a dinner, presentation, and tour of the facilities. It is housed in an old hospital in the East Lake area and currently is at capacity with over 330 women and children. At this moment there are also 23 babies all under the age of 6 weeks old!

I could not hold back the tears watching these women and hearing their stories. At one point in the service the women came out and gave their testimonies on cardboard. On one side they had written their past and then they flipped the card over to reveal their present and future. As women younger than me walked across the stage, I was overwhelmed with such emotion. These women told stories of abuse, neglect, drugs, prostitution, etc... Signs said things like "Drug Addict" and then "Fanatic of Jesus."

One of the more moving signs were the mothers and daughters. A mother held a sign that said "Following down a path of destruction" while her teenage daughter held a sign that said "Following in her footsteps." Then the mother's sign read "Following God's path for me" while her daughter held the same sign that said "Following in her footsteps."

I wish I could express to you how powerful that portion of the program was. After each woman walked across the stage and held up her sign and then her new sign, everyone applauded. I was so humbled at the same time. Here are these women that are my age, my friends' age, my Mom's age, my sister's age. They represent all of us and it so easily could be any of us. Any of us could fall into hard times and resort to actions we never thought possible. Some of these women were college graduates, had great jobs but made poor choices.

What if someone asked you to walk across the stage today boldly displaying your sin on a cardboard sign? Then when asked to flip it over what would the other side say? I am pretty sure my sign would say "Selfish" and then I would flip it over to say "Still Selfish." It was extremely convicting.

I was surrounded by very difficult circumstances last night but yet in the midst of pain was HOPE. These women have HOPE now, they have a safe place to sleep, they have their children back, their lives back, jobs and most importantly an eternal future. God rescued them and healed their wounds. That same God rescues me daily and heals my own wounds. That same God can rescue my Mom and heal her wounds. He can rescue you and heal your wounds.

Don't doubt the power of our almighty God who allowed his Son to die for us and then raised Him from the dead. We talked in Bible Study about how the first one to see Jesus was Mary Magdalene. She was desperately seeking her Savior outside the empty tomb when she ran into the "gardener." She didn't care who saw her, she just wanted to see her Jesus. Finally when he called her by name-Mary-she recognized him. He told her to go and tell and she did just that. The first true evangelist some may say-was Mary Magdalene, a former prostitute.

God can use anyone...Is He calling you by name? Flip over your sign and tell someone He is Alive!



John 20:10-18 (New International Version)

Jesus Appears to Mary Magdalene
10Then the disciples went back to their homes, 11but Mary stood outside the tomb crying. As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb 12and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

13They asked her, "Woman, why are you crying?"

"They have taken my Lord away," she said, "and I don't know where they have put him." 14At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.

15"Woman," he said, "why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"
Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."

16Jesus said to her, "Mary."
She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means Teacher).

17Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "

18Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "I have seen the Lord!" And she told them that he had said these things to her.