Thursday, January 29, 2009

Prayer Request

I know the power of prayer first hand just because I am surrounded by so many of you who faithfully pray for my parents and have been since this whole ordeal started. I am encouraged by your constant emails, comments on this blog, phone calls, actual cards to Mom and Dad and personal conversations. Your prayers are the hands and feet of God in our lives.

I am blown away by the acts of love you have shown through the food still being brought in even though it is almost 2 months later. And not to even mention the monetary gifts that have been sent to me for my travel expenses and also to my parents.

Since I value your prayers I would like to offer some specifics for us..

Mom-She is constantly improving. I was greatly encouraged last weekend when I saw her. She has more movement in that left arm when it is propped up. She can't lift it herself but once she has it on a pillow in front of her she is able to raise it more than she could when she first got home. She has had some difficulty sleeping at night and I know one restful night would do wonders for her. Continue to pray for her therapy and her therapists as they come into our home and work with her. Allow us to minister to them as well and for us to use this as a chance to be a light if need be or to encourage the body of Christ even more. Also continued prayer for her right arm as it heals. Pray that we will hear good news at the end of February and she can get that cast off.

Dad-Pray that he continues to rest and take time to heal himself. He is back to working full speed ahead and I know he may not say he is exhausted but he must be. Pray that he is able to also sleep through the night as well. I know he helps Mom when she needs help during the night but it would be wonderful if they could both have one undisturbed night. Also continue to lift his spirits and allow him to feel encouraged and to see the progress instead of the road ahead.

Mimi-Thank God for my Mimi! I know she is tired and mentally and emotionally exhausted too but thank goodness she is able to care for her own daughter. Pray that she stays well and strong so she can continue to stay a few more weeks. I know she must be so drained at her age having to be a caretaker but pray that she is encouraged to stay just a few more weeks until Mom can at least feed herself and ease into daily routines.

I will stay home again this weekend. Pray that I take advantage of the hours in the day and rest. I need to do a few things around my apt, run errands, and most importantly buy some new running shoes!! I got a race to run in March.

Philippians 4:6 (New International Version)

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Perseverance 5k

I got to run outside yesterday for the first time in months. I have a love/hate relationship with running but I go crazy when I can't run. It clears my head and helps me stay grounded. It's pretty good therapy too. I can have at least 30 to 40 minutes alone with no cell phone and no one bugging me or asking me any questions. It's my "me" time. It also is my excuse to eat what I want although I don't know if I get a pass when I only run a few miles at a time.

I have ran 2 half marathons and both times my parents have been there. Not to mention the other random races they have been in town to support me for. They have stood in sleet and snow flurries, sunshine, rain and have even driven to Nashville to see me run. I am not a Kenyan. I don't win these races by any means. I usually tell them the same thing. Okay go get some coffee and I'll see you guys in about 2 hours at the finish line.

It is so motivating to know they are somewhere on the course cheering for me or waiting at the finish line with the camera.



This was after my first half marathon in 2007. I have participated in Birmingham's Mercedes marathon weekend for at least 3 years. I did the relay last year and in 2006, both times running a 10k stretch of the course. Then in 2007, me and my best friend both ran the half marathon. My parents were there for 2 of those 3 races, standing on the side lines cheering me on.

The comparisons to my Mom's recovery and training for and running in a marathon are glaringly obvious. It's a long road and path. There are highs and lows. We get encouraged and discouraged. Each day is like a new mile or half mile we have to conquer. There will be set backs, blisters, aches and pains but ultimately at the end of the race, she will find her reward of full health. She will cross the finish line of this journey and be given her medal.

I will not be participating in Mercedes this year. It is in 3 weeks and my body is no where near half marathon condition. I haven't ran longer than 4 miles and I haven't had a weekend to dedicate to a long run since the accident. I am okay with that. It really doesn't make me sad to miss running for over 2 hours for no reason, so don't be upset. However, there is a small little 5k in March at my church-The Perseverance 5K. My Dad has already said him and Mom want to get better in time to come and see me run!

We have a goal and we will continue to press on. I better make sure I start running again!

1 Corinthians 9:23-25 (New International Version)

23I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

24Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

25Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Candyland?



Candyland
I loved this game when I was younger. I have a huge sweet tooth and really any spot on the board seemed like a great place to stop. Life was great in Candyland. You had the Candy Cane Forest or Gum Drop Mountain even the Molasses Swamp didn't seem so bad.

I sometimes wish life were like Candyland these days. I want it to be easy and sweet. No troubles and if you land on that card that sends you backwards or gets you stuck on a space, at least it smells and tastes pretty good.

Yet how would we know what our faith looked like if we did not have trials? If my life was all gumdrops and sugarcanes I don't think I would ever really grow. I probably wouldn't even roll the dice to get to the next stop on the board game. I'd be super happy just hanging with Gramma Nut or Mr. Mint and never really worry about how to save the lost King of Candyland.

Thank goodness life is less like Candyland and more like well...the game of LIFE.

James 1:2-3 (New International Version)

Trials and Temptations
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

Mom had a pretty bad day yesterday. Really discouraged and frustrated with the path in front of her. No Gum Drop Mountain just a lot of waiting and therapy and time. She did not want to continue playing. She was tired and wanted the game to be over. I think we all do. But we have to realize how far we have come. How long we have been playing this game. We are close to the 2 month mark and happily we are not in the hospital. Ribs are healing, staples are all out, bruises are gone..but spirits may be a bit damaged.

I am going home tonight and we have big plans-Mamma Mia on DVD! I also brought West Side Story. I remember seeing it with Mom on TV when I was younger. My very first musical and I instantly loved it. Heck, maybe after all the singing and dancing we'll play a round of Candyland.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

White As Snow

We don’t get the pretty snow in Alabama. We get flurries with really really cold temperatures and crazy weather men that tell us to get milk and bread and hunker down for the blizzard of ’09! Then you wake up the next day only to discover that it’s just cold and you have to go to work.

North Carolina, on the other hand, has snow and a lot of it. Amy sent photos of the snow from this Tuesday. She said they got over 4 inches and it was the pretty snow. The picture postcard snow.





Snow is one of those things that fascinate me. We rarely see it, so it’s like this magical sparkly gift from heaven. It covers cars, houses, roads, buildings, yards, and makes everything look beautiful and clean. Maybe instead of covering everything it really hides the ugly scratched up cars, houses that need a fresh coat of paint, unsightly buildings, dry, dead front yards. It reminds me that my Creator created something as beautiful and pristine as the snow and that He also is my Savoir who “washed me white as snow.”

I sometimes want to stop and ask God why he has allowed this to happen to my family. Why my Mom had to suffer more injuries on top of other health issues that she deals with? Why my family had to have one more set back occur? But then even though my God allows me to ask the questions, I realize I don’t need to. He already gave me the greatest gift by washing me “white as snow” and overlooking all my ugly bruises and dry, dead spots. All I can do is praise Him and allow Him to be glorified no matter what happens in my life.

Isaiah 1:18 (New International Version)

18 "Come now, let us reason together,"
says the LORD.
"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Inside Out



I like this picture of my parents. They are so darn cute all dressed up on their way to what I imagine would be church or Sunday school. They also have some amazing hair! I mean how perfect is my Mom's bob! Dad's hair isn't too bad either.

Mom has always had great hair. She does a good job of always getting the right cut and color that suits her best. Only a few times she has come home with a look that wasn't quite right-that time in the 80's when she got a perm or the time she went a little too blond for Dad's taste. Other than those hiccups, she has always had fabulous hair.

She taught me the fine art of "going to the salon." We would schedule our appointments on the same day and head over to Old Town Conyers and visit our stylist and friend, Lisa, and spend the day being pampered. I no longer see Lisa anymore simply because of distance reasons but I still know the importance of seeing my stylist on a regular basis. Blake also has learned that this appointment is important and quite a hassle to get rescheduled!

Mom had her hair colored and trimmed the day before the accident. She got a little bit of red in her color and it looked great. Dad may say it was a little "too red!" Whatever the case, her hair looked amazing. She found out they had to shave it a little on her neck for her surgery and I remember telling her in the NCCU that I thought it still looked cute-sort of a stacked bob. She pouted and said, "But I was growing it out!"

Then it seemed like it took them forever to wash it in the hospital. I think it wasn't until the day after Christmas that she actually got a full shower and her hair washed. She went twenty whole days before finally getting a shampoo. I washed her hair again on January 10th, which means she waited again another two weeks.

She got her hair washed yesterday by Lisa. It wasn't by a nurse or me, but by her hair dresser, Lisa. Talk about being pampered. Lisa drove out to our house in Covington, which is basically out in the country, and washed and styled my Mom's hair. She also brought an apple pie for my Dad. Now that is a good stylist!

I know that made Mom feel normal again and back to her old self. She even sounded chipper when I talked to her yesterday. Of course we know that the inside is what matters. The Lord even told Samuel the exact same thing.

1 Samuel 16:7 (New International Version)

7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

It's just that in the midst of this accident we have seen how beautiful people truly are, including my parents. My Mom's spirit is beautiful, my Dad's care for Mom exudes beauty. My Mimi leaving her own house to care for her daughter displays beauty every day. People from the church bringing food, Lisa washing and drying Mom's hair, nurses, doctors, friends, family-each of them are beautiful. They are the hands and feet of Jesus and how beautiful they are to us.

It's the inside peeking out that matters but it also helps to have terrific hair!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Restore My Soul



This is my infamous cat, Kitty Lynn in her new bed she got at Christmas. It is probably a little small for her large 14lb frame. Anyways, I have learned nothing from her except how to sleep. She is special for oh so many reasons and she alone deserves her own blog. However, if there is one thing she has taught me it is that she needs her sleep. I have come home from work and found her in the exact same spot I left her in that morning. I was home for a week with the flu last year and she and I slept all day. That's just what she does.

She has suffered only minimally while I have been going back and forth each weekend but I doubt she lost any sleep over it. I, on the other hand, am exhausted.

As you read earlier, my sister was going to come down but circumstances beyond our control have come into play with Robbie's grandmother and her passing away. Which really is a blessing-she definitely knows her Heavenly Father and can fully remember all her loved ones as they honor her this weekend. Needless to say, if my sister was going home then I was going to take advantage of the weekend off and rest.

I have gone back and forth with the idea of going instead or staying. Every time I think I want to stay I start to get emotional just thinking about not seeing my parents. The very thought that I could have lost either of them in this accident makes me want to spend as much time as possible with them. If it made any sense to quit my job right now and move back to Georgia to be with them and care for them I certainly would.

I finally talked to my Dad and we both thought it best for me to stay in Alabama this weekend and really rest. I am still torn with the thought of not driving to Covington tomorrow but if I want to be worth anything I need to stay.

In fact just this week I stumbled upon a devotional that talked about just that.

The LORD] makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul.
-Psalm 23:23 (NRSV)

I will take the advice of Kitty Lynn this week and simply rest and allow God to restore my soul.

A special thank you to Anne Spillers for being available to run some much needed items to my Mom today! I don't think it was a coincidence that you at the grocery store when I called, I think it was God! Little moments like that make me realize He is always around us!

Updated Requests

Here are a few requests and a praise!

First and foremost-Mom went to the Neurosurgeon on Tuesday and the appointment went really well. She does not have to wear the hard neck collar in the shower, which makes things easier and she can feel 100% clean. She needs to wear it any other time when she is sitting up and the soft collar at night when she sleeps, until her next appointment in March. She was approved for OT therapy and has already had her first in home session. The doctor seemed to think that the nerve in her arm/bicep area that is connected to her C5 vertebrae will return. However, it may take up to a year and year and half to see any improvement.

I think this is an answer to prayer and also allows us to ask for patience as we wait for the nerve to come back to life!

Psalm 40:1 "I waited patiently for the Lord, and He inclined to me and heard my cry"

Continue to pray for healing of her broken wrist and overcoming her cough/cold. I think the medicine now makes her stomach a bit unsettled and without going into detail this causes some issue with going to the bathroom and having to rely on others to care for you.

I know both my parents are experiencing all the emotions that go through suffering this kind of injury and incident. Guilt, sadness, humiliation, depression, etc and I am grateful they are together to comfort each other but I also want them to see brighter days ahead.

Dad had his first full day of work yesterday, as always both my sister and I think he pushes himself too much but pray that he gets the needed rest he requires for full healing.

Also my sister was suppose to come home this weekend with her daughter, Maddie, but Robbie's grandmother, Gigi, passed away yesterday. She suffered from Alzheimer's and had her 3rd stroke and her little body just could not recover from it. She is fully restored now! Pray for travel safety for Robbie and his family as they fly to Alabama for the funeral. Amy will now stay in North Carolina with the kids.

I'll update a bit more later.

Philippians 1:3-6 (New International Version)

Thanksgiving and Prayer
3I thank my God every time I remember you. 4In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Air We Breathe

I have trouble breathing when I do any exercise class or video. I have taken a few yoga/pilates classes and I have done several videos and every time I forget the key is breathing. I will be in the middle of what has got to be considered a pretzel pose and I will hear the teacher’s calm steady voice say, “Don’t forget to breathe!” I want to first find out how she can even talk to me in such a soothing tone and then find out how she even remembered to breathe with her arms twisted behind her back balancing on one leg. Needless to say, I struggle breathing and I am not recovering from any major accident.

My Mom is struggling to take in enough air to get a large enough breath in. She had several cracked ribs and you really can’t do much for that other than make sure you take in enough air to fill your lungs so that you don’t get sick. During her stay in the hospital she had breathing treatments twice a day. The respiratory therapist would come in and do whatever it is they do. Mom would breathe in and out using an apparatus to fill her lungs with enough oxygen and to work on those ribs. This was to prevent pneumonia or any infection that might settle in her chest and lungs.

She went to the doctor yesterday because she had a pretty bad cough and fever. They put her on antibiotics and gave her an inhaler to work on her breathing. She sounded sickly yesterday when I was able to talk to her but Dad said she was feeling much better. In the midst of all her other ailments she struggled with breathing. It seems unfair that she would get a cold/cough in the middle of all her other aches and pains. It seems unfair that she would require help just to breathe.

Jesus is the air we breathe. He is so close to us that he literally breathes on us. One of the first things He did after His resurrection was breathe on His disciples.

John 20:21-22 (New International Version)
21Again Jesus said, "Peace be with you! As the Father has sent me, I am sending you." 22And with that he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.

It’s almost a funny image at first but when you think of it in terms of closeness and my own Mom’s experience it’s again beautiful. He is so close to us and longs so much to be near us that he literally breathes on us. He is the air we breathe. He will be the air my Mom needs to breathe. He will breathe on her for full healing.

One of my favorite praise songs explains the yearning for His holy presence to literally be the air we breathe.

This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
This is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me
And I I'm desperate for you
And I I'm I'm lost without you
This is the air I breathe
This is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
This is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
your very word spoken to me
And I'm, I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you
And I'm desperate for you
And I'm, I'm lost without you.
I'm lost without you.
I'm lost without you.
I'm desperate for you.
(Cry out to live)
I'm desperate for you..
I'm lost, I'm lost, I'm lost without you..
I'm lost without you
I'm desperate for you

May He be the air we breathe and may He allow my Mom to breathe easier in her recovery.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Prayer Request-Monday

Hey All
My Mom was in some pain last night and this morning. It seems like she had an 101 fever so my Dad took her to see her family practice doctor in Conyers. My friend Sameera's parents run the practice. I love the Kassam family for many reasons.

Pray that Mom does not come down with pneumonia which is common in patients who have to be inactive. We have been getting her to walk around each day and try and move as much as possible. I will get Blake to fully give me a medical update because he knows more than I do about all that. Sorry Blake if I don't explain it correctly-I'll do better next time!

They gave her an inhaler to make sure she works on her breathing and takes large enough breaths so that nothing gets down in her chest and lung area and they put her on some antibiotics. She goes back to Athens to see her neurosurgeon so we are going to check on all that tomorrow. Pray for their travel safety to Athens.

Pray also for her eyes. She tends to get a painful burning irritation in her eyes. We don't know if it's a nerve reaction or an allergic reaction. It has happened only since the neck surgery so we want to know what the cause of that is. I know it is frustrating for her to have to ask us to wipe her eyes or put a cold rag on them while they burn so if that one annoyance can subside we would all be grateful.

Pray for my Dad-this is his first week back to work. We want him to take it easy. If you see him in Covington-tell him to take a nap and rest. Or better yet, ask him if he has on his soft back brace! Dad are you wearing that?

Pray for my grandmother, Mimi, while she cares for Mom this week as well

His Lamb



Dad bandaged up one of my sister's old stuffed animal lambs to match the bandages on Mom. That was the first thing Mom saw when she got home last week. Then he also laid a framed sketch we have of Jesus holding the lamb. It was a beautiful picture of how Jesus is taking care of Mom and holding her in his arms.

Isaiah 40:11 (New International Version)

11 He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.

I'll post more about the weekend and specific prayer requests later today!

Friday, January 9, 2009

When My Arms Get Heavy

I have an amazing group of girls and other extended "family" in Birmingham and really all around me in Alabama and Georgia. (And even as far as Pennsylvania-I see you Cathy and Greg!!) Everyone has been so kind to check on me, ask me if they can help in any way and of course a lot of you already gave me money for all my traveling back and forth. The amount of love and support is really overwhelming and I don't even know if I have adequately thanked y'all.

Even just letting me not be social or allowing me to sit in your living room in your company has been a blessing. Emails, text messages,phone calls and even comments on this blog are so precious to me because I know it is your way to reach out and love on me even though I can't physically feel your hugs.

One of my sweet sweet friends, Amy Dobes, sent me the most beautiful picture of friendship and explained that this was how she and others are there for me in this battle. I love how passages in the Old Testament are so applicable to our lives here and now. They speak so clearly and usually can be so easy to relate too because all of the people God used were very human with flaws and blemishes which is very much just like me and you. They just had longer hair and of course their shoes weren't nearly as cute as mine. :)

But seriously, the Israelites were fighting Amalek and if Moses stood at the top of the hill and held up his staff then Israel would win but if his arms got heavy and tired and dropped they would begin to loose. So his two friends Aaron and Hur let him sit on a rock and they held up his arms and they won the battle.

Israel Defeats Amalek (Exodus 17)

8(J) Then Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim. 9So Moses said to(K) Joshua, "Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with(L) the staff of God in my hand." 10So(M) Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and(N) Hur went up to the top of the hill. 11Whenever Moses(O) held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. 12But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and(P) Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. 13And(Q) Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword.

(Amy also shared this:)
And here is the chorus to an Andrew Peterson song:
What I need you to do
Is hold up my arms
Like Moses in the desert
When the battle ran long
Hold up my arms
We can go at this together
When my arms aren't strong



What an amazing image! There was a battle below and it was won because of friendship and support. Amy, thank you so much for sharing that with me and for letting me see that I am not alone. You all are in this journey with me and even though today my arms may be heavy you are holding them up for me.

Moreover, that same can be said literally for my Mom. We are physically being her arms for her while we care for her and figuratively you are joining me in praying that though her arms are heavy and tired we will hold them up and they will become well again!

Thank you.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Prayer Request

Here are some updated prayer requests for my family

Dad-his first doctor's appointment went well yesterday. He has some bone loss but that is to be expected with his injury and he has had the go-ahead to return to work. Of course he needs to return at his own pace. He will start back on Monday but take it as slow as possible. Pray that he will ease back into a normal daily routine and that he will listen to his body and rest when he needs to rest.

Mom-she is home! I think her good spirits have helped Dad. She is having swelling in her fingers on the right arm (cast w/ broken wrist). Pray this pain subsides and that it continues to heal rapidly so we can have at least one working arm. Continued prayer for the left arm and its return to full mobility and movement. Of course all the other areas-tenderness on her neck where they removed the 21 staples after her C3-C6 surgery. Healing for those vertebrae. The wound on her leg that was cut from the seatbelt. She had 4 staples and later we found out one extra staple actually in the wound where the first hospital botched up. The staples are now out-all of them-but we want that area to heal properly.

Occupational Therapist-Working on finding an OT nurse to come 2 or 3 times a week to work with Mom's arm. Pray that God places exactly the right person into our home and that we can also be an encouragement to them.

Mimi-My grandmother is coming today to help Mom with everyday chores. Pray she is in excellent health and that she is able to help Mom.

Sleeping arrangements-My parents have one of those beds that is crazy high. A step stool was required before the accident. Needless to say, the only person sleeping on this bed now is Blake when he comes home with me on the weekends. The guest bed is a double and Dad has been sleeping on that, however Mom requires lots of pillows to prop her arms and neck etc.. so that doesn't allow for a lot of room. Dad is having to sleep on the squeaky twin day bed now and I can't imagine it's comfortable with a back injury. It was my bed all through high school and when I am there on the weekends and I wake up with a back ache.. We just need to make sure we are able to find proper sleeping arrangements-whether that is buying a new frame, renting a hospital bed, etc..

Personally-I am tired and worn out. I feel like I truly have not rested in quite some time. Pray for traveling safety every weekend as I go back and forth on I-20 and pray I continue to rest and really take care of myself during the week when I am in Alabama.

James 5:16 (New International Version)

16Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Romans 12:12

I stumbled upon a verse earlier this week. It only has ten words but they may possibly be ten of the strongest little words.
Romans 12:12 (New International Version)

12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Joyful in Hope-Because of the cross I have something to hope for. I know and understand what hope is. I have been given a gift of a better future just because Jesus loves me. I can be joyful in that Hope!

Patient in Affliction-Two words I am not a huge fan of-patient and affliction but because Jesus has promised me Joy and Hope then I can learn to be Patient in my Affliction.

Faithful in Prayer-How can we not be! The same God that answered the prayers of Hannah who was barren and then gave birth to Samuel, Daniel who sat in a den of lions and Paul chained in a prison cell is the same God who will hear my own prayer. I must be faithful to pray for my family.

Thank you all for standing with me in our affliction and providing hope and prayer as we face each day.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Clarity in the Fog

I am not sure about y'all but it has been horrible weather lately. I decided not to leave on my lunch break today because it rained all morning and looking out the window from my office doesn't seem all that promising.

Every time we left St. Mary's to drive back to Covington the fog was so thick you could barely see ahead of you. One night it was so bad I made my Aunt spend the night because I didn't want anyone else driving home in that. It almost didn't help to have your lights on. You could barely make out the car ahead of you or the car approaching you from the other side of the road. Dangerous and very unsafe.



Last weekend as Blake and I were driving into Atlanta you could barely make out billboards or buildings from I-20. The fog was so thick that things were hidden underneath the haze. Blake even said, "Can you see that sign?" Immediately I responded with NOPE!

It wasn't until you came closer to the object, car, building, sign, etc that you instantly recognized your landmark or could read the words.

Even this morning the skyline of Birmingham seemed hidden in a haze of fog that hung over the city. It was as I drove down Red Mountain this morning that I realized God's timing is like a fog to me sometimes.

It makes no sense, its hard to navigate and I struggle to move forward. Sometimes the words Dangerous and Unsafe even come to mind. I want to stay home where I feel secure and sleep until the sun comes out because it seems safer indoors.

I decided to change jobs after four years of having a great job. I wasn't sure why I was doing it but I knew God was leading me in a direction that I could not resist. Then a week after I started my new job my parents were in this accident. My old job was fast paced, fun and high stress-but I enjoyed it. My weekends were always busy with work related events especially during the months of Jan-March. I remember telling Blake that I would have a lot more open weekends once I changed jobs.

That statement is funny to hear now-I havee been coming home almost every weekend and probably will until I know everyone is fully recovered. I don't mind it and of course God's timing is perfect.

When my parents had their accident they were on a dark country road. A state trooper was running radar that night and saw the whole thing. Had he not been there, my parents would have been stranded in a ravine in 28 degree weather. God's timing to have that state trooper there was perfect.

Mom is coming home today. We aren't really ready. We need 24 hour care for her because of her situation. Dad's doctor's appointment is tomorrow-her first full day back and he won't be there for a greater part of the day. We can't get my grandmother to come down until later in the week. Everyone seems to be frantic and scrambling for the right answers. I feel like I can't help out so far away today and that frustrates me. Things seem Dangerous and Unsafe.

I can't see the cars ahead or the signs on the road directing my family which way to go. I can't see the buildings or the skyline letting me know we are in the right place. I can't see any of this because God is only allowing me to see the next step. I need to just trust that once again His timing is perfect.

I am reminded of one of my favorite verses:
Isaiah 55:8-9 (New International Version)

8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,"
declares the LORD.

9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.

We serve a big God who sees the bigger picture. He asks us only to trust and pray and acknowledge that He is in control.

That I will ultimately pull into my driveway on a foggy night and make it home. That there is Clarity, Comfort, Security and even Peace in the fog.

Homecoming One Month Later

Hey All
Quick update-Mom's coming home today. Insurance did not approve another 7 days in rehab so she has to come home. Exactly a month after the accident and she is returning home. We are all a bit anxious because we aren't sure what this change will bring and how this will effect everyone's recovery. Keep my family in your prayers today and I'll update again this afternoon with a full post.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

On His Shoulders

I had a hard time writing before I left for the weekend. I felt very discouraged and tense and I wasn't sure what I could say that was even an update. I felt a bit lost.

The weather has been dreary and bleak. The winter is officially upon us. The Christmas ornaments and decorations are all put up. There are no sparkly lights to look upon as you drive around the city. No gifts or presents wrapped up with bows and shiny paper. No festive holiday parties to catch up with old friends. All the joy of the season is over and the new year came in with cold and dreary rain. The hard reality that we have to start over and that things may change for 2009 are staring me in the face. The pity party officially began...

I finally had to pull myself out of the funk and realize that the longer I dwell in this negative place the easier it is for the enemy to win. He wants me to become discouraged and he yearns for me to stay in a dreary and bleak place.

However our Shepard is greater than that. One of his sheep had wandered off and got herself stuck in a pit of despair. He left the other 99 to find her and he scooped her up and put her on His shoulders.

Luke 15:3-5 (New International Version)

3Then Jesus told them this parable: 4"Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders

From His shoulders I can see so much more and the weight of me carrying my own burdens are lifted because He is carrying me through this storm.

Thank you all for your prayers and emails. It is through you that God is ministering to me and speaking to me. Allowing me to feel that I am on His shoulders.



Amy and her family left Saturday morning. They had a rough trip due to traffic so I think the got back to North Carolina around 8:30 and it took them about 10 hours total. Pray for her whole family (Robbie, Maddie and Trathen) as they get back into the groove. I know she is stressed because she cannot be here all the time but also is trying to balance the demands of motherhood and helping her family stay focused as well.

Blake, Dad and I went to see Mom on Saturday. She was in good spirits which is encouraging and they ran some more tests on her upper arm and it appears that there was a little activity. Earlier the tests came back negative (which also helped my pity party!) but another round of tests came back showing signs of nerve activity. She is getting sick of the hospital and wants to come home badly. All of the patients around her that she had met while she has been in rehab are returning home and I think that makes her even more homesick.

Of course just like my Mom, she has met so many friends and they were all just as sad to leave my Mom. Even her Doctor told her that she had quite the fan club on the rehab floor. I think she was voted Most Friendliest in 1967 at Forest Park High School so the superlative still stands today!

Hopefully she will come home on Friday and I pray that in these next 6 days we will see much improvement to that left arm. My grandmother, Mimi, is going to come down and stay with her at the house so she can help feed her, bath her, etc.. I am thankful that Mimi can make the trip down but I also know that she older herself and I want everyone to rest and recover as much as they can. We are praying for supernatural energy, more than the red bull kind!

Dad goes back to the Doctor this week too. He may get the go ahead to go back to work. I pray he does not overdo it. Dad if you are reading this-TAKE IT EASY. I know he feels like he needs to get back to start getting paychecks for the bills that are mounting but I also know that his own energy level is down.

I think this week will be hard because there are changes facing us but I want to be on His shoulders and not lost in the brush as they happen.