Saturday's Update

I was able to sit with Dad for most of the morning. Blake, Amy and I got a lot of little things done around the house and I made a calendar and schedule for visitation for both parents and FOOD!!

Sometimes I wonder what the early church did without casseroles! I am sure they ministered to each other in other ways but it is amazing the amount of food we have in the house. At least I know Dad will not go hungry this week.

We had to make sure Amy made it safely on the road. It was so hard to say goodbye to Amy. I felt really little at the hospital today. She still has the ability to make me feel safe in only the way an older sibling can. I felt like even though all week long I was keeping up with all the paper work and asking a ton of questions, with her out of the room I felt really small an shy. I miss her already.

Blake and I got to St. Mary's around 1:30 or so. Mom's sister Anna and her son Clayton were there so that made me feel good. She had been sitting in a chair for a bit and eaten a little lunch. They took her off the morphine drip today and no more IVs. I think each of these things are little victories and when I am out of the hospital room I can celebrate them but being in the midst of all her pain I am so overcome with sorrow.

I let her sleep for a good bit while we all went out to eat and then I got to spend about 2 hours with her before going back home to Dad. I always seem to loose it when we have to leave her. I don't want to leave her side. I wish I could just freeze time and split myself in two. I want half of me with Dad and the other half with Mom. I want to stay by their sides until both are fully recovered. Blake read Psalms 23 to us tonight. I was so thankful he was there to be the stronger one so I could just cry for a bit.

Mom seems so brave too. She just keeps saying she wishes they could give her a new body and when I had to tell her that her middle fingernail from her last manicure was finally chipping after all this she just laughed and said "well wouldn't you just know it!"

She is to remain in the NCCU till Monday and then hopefully be moved to regular room. Maybe by that point she can have some flowers and photos and stuff from home brought in. None of that is allowed in the NCCU.

I hate that tomorrow is Sunday and I can't believe a full 7 days has passed since we first found out about the accident.

Before the accident my Dad asked for an old Ginny Owens CD for Christmas that had this song on it. Never have the words been more true! I am definitely getting him that CD.

If You Want Me TO

The pathway is broken
And The signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If You want me to

Chorus:
Cause I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
so if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will walk through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But You never said it would be easy
You only said I'd never go alone

ya oh oh no

So When the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering that Your love put You through
And I walk through the darkness If You want me to

cause When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna sing, gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to you
And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to